Catching Up

It has been almost a week since I last posted. I was at home, which means slow or limited internet access, so I forsake blogging for reading and trying not to go stir crazy.

The trip home was hard. Meaning I drove half of the way in a no travel advisory. It was snowing and blowing and I couldn't always see.

I spent a lot of time with my family. Some was great; enjoying the holidays. Some was sad; my great-grandma passed 4:30am Christmas eve morning and the funeral was Friday.

Then I have been playing hide and seek with God. Its not good and I am ready to be done. I don't understand what He expects of me, so I have been fearful of going to the Word. When I do, it is amazing, so it is definitely me being me. I love my God who pursues me relentlessly and who gives me joy in praising Him. Well off with me to the Word.

Coming in for a Crash Landing

Ah yes, the end of finals and Christmas break is upon me! What an amazing and terrrible thing at the same time. See I might be a little driven and when I have to slow down, I don't always handle it well. I crash. Big time.

I have a few days to adjust while still in college town, before heading back to the unstructured world of home. Well that is if the weather holds out. We have already had close to a foot of snow since Saturday and there is more predicted on Friday. I might just be happy if the temperature gets above zero!

It has been a hard week. I am surviving because the grace of Christ is enough. I am praying for the strength to obey, because I know what He has told me. I love Him. He is committed to me and so I give myself to Him.

Not Me! Monday

Okay another week of me not doing some very interesting, crazy, or stupid things. Really, I live a completely normal, bland, boring life. Like everyone else here.

• I did not take over preparing a group presentation, because the other two were a little sluggish. I am not a slave driver who cracks the whip. I am simply a dedicated student.
• I did not start my period this week and I did not then forget to use a tampon before going to bed.
• I did not also just blog about my period.
• While at Taco Johns, I would never get upset a friend's comments and jump up and leave the table. I did not also trip over a chair in the process.
• I love living in college town, including the weather. I did not ignore my better judgement and drive into town Sunday morning to go to the coffee shop where I normally have quiet time before church, even though there was six inches of snow on the ground, the wind was blowing and none of the roads were plowed. I did not end up at a friend's house for the rest of the day because the coffee shop was closed, church was cancelled, and I had no desire to drive back home.

Its that time of year again...

No, not Christmas. It's finals time. You can tell by the sleep deprived, over-caffeinated people walking around muttering under their breath something about their least favorite professor being demon possessed.

I cannot complain too much about this semester. I have one presentation and a few odds and ends for my grad assistantship to wrap up this year. It has been a long semester, in some ways, but it has gone all too fast in others.

Since school is not really kicking my butt, God is. I'm loving it. Wednesday night at Navs the last couple of weeks, JG has challenged us all big time. Last week, he talked about training versus trying. Are we training for Godliness or just expecting it to happen? This week, he taught from Isaiah 9:1-7 about who Jesus is and how it was prophesied about long before Jesus came. The point that really hit home was that the peace did not come when Jesus was born, we could only receive peace after Jesus died and reconciled us to God.

I have been loving hanging out on campus. I was sitting next two a couple of girls the other day. One I recognized and had met once. They were talking about some escapades they had drinking. Whether they knew it or not, they were admitting to being chained to it, and also I could hear the desire that they wanted something more. I prayed for those two young women, and I prayed that God would show me the opportunities to share His love.

I once was lost. I was dead. Now, in Christ, I am alive!

Not Me! Monday

Free therapy time. Here are some of the things I did not do this week.

• My roommate and I did not run out the door to go to Arby's after seeing their commercial on TV. We are not so lazy or unhealthy.

• I did not regift a pair of adult sized winnie the poo overalls as a white elephant gift.

• I did not throw myself a pity party when things weren't going my way in the love life department.

• I did not swear under my breath when the latch on the cambro I was opening snapped back and bruised my palm. There was not a 10 year old looking over my shoulder at the time.

• I did not start a game of four square with a group of mentors and mentees only to step away when I didn't understand the rules they were playing by. I would not be that childish.

• Finally, I did not have to confess and repent big time this weekend to God. I had not allowed myself to be bitter with people in my life, and I definitely hadn't let a barrier creep up between me and God. I am not thankful for a loving and merciful God, and am not thankful for the friend who kicked me in the behind.

Outside the computer

I was thinking how easy it is through a blog, to give a perception of yourself that is so far from your real self. If anyone is actually reading this, I really have no clue. This week has been another roller coaster. I really, really wanted to punch someone the other day. I have been moody and emotional. I have lacked motivation.

I'm not perfect...okay so you knew that already.

I was listening in on a conversation, yesterday. Right or wrong, we'll just go back to the statement that I am not perfect, and I am pretty sure they knew I was listening. Two passionate young men were discussing with wise counsel about their plans for a new venture. Am I a bad person for praying against it? I am not against change. I have already been hit with that this semester. I do see God at work in the place these young men want to go. I hesitate at the way the want to do this. (I know I am being vague.) They asked for prayer, and so I am.


I'll be more clear with this next thought that has been rolling around. I am looking at 2-3 different options for what happens after I graduate. One is doing full-time ministry for a year or two. I like this option, but the thing is, my family is not for it. They are asking me to really consider if this is the best thing for me, especially in light of college loans and the economy. This would require me to fundraise around $30,000 for a salary. The next thing I am considering is to look for a job in at a camp. Most camps operate year-round and need staff. I have a backround in physical education, which I think would be awesome to use as a program director or adventure camping staff. Of the three, this is the least likely for me to pursue. I don't know if these opportunities exist. The most logical option is to teach. I love teaching. I am fairly sure I could find a job and it would be stable. The part that gets me is that teaching in a public school seems like I won't have the opportunities to meet with and disciple young women, which is something I love and am passionate about.

As I was praying yesterday, I asked God to reveal which one is His will. To which He replied, " I will bless you." I ask for specifics and He asks me to trust. I wanted to be frustrated and annoyed but how can I be when He has said that He will bless me, that He is giving me His divine favor? This is hard. I am likely to write many times over about this process. Walking with God is simple, hide in Him and trust, but it is not easy.

Well

Practicing...

Paul, an apostle of Christ Jesus, by the will of God.

To the saints in Ephesus, the faithful in Christ Jesus

Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. For He chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight. In love, He predestined us to adopted as His sons through Jesus Christ in accordance with His pleasure and will, to the praise of His glorious grace which He has freely given us in the One He loves. In Him, we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace that He lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding. And He made known to us the mystery of His will according to His good pleasure, which He purposed in Christ, to be put into effect, when the times times will have reached their fullfillment, to bring all things in heaven and on earth together under one head, even Christ.

In Him, we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of Him , who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of His will, in order that we who were the first to hope in Christ will be fore the praise of His glory. And you were also included Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in Him with seal, the promised Holy Spirit. Who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession, to the praise of His glory.

I'm a terrible blogger and tis the season

Well, I was away at my parents who only have a dial-up connection (with only one line) that is frustratingly slow, so I did not get a chance to blog. That and I was busy, cooking, playing with little ones, eating, shopping and playing cards, leaving little time to type out my thoughts.

I absolutely love that it is snowing outside right now. It truely makes me excited for Christmas. On my five hour drive, I was thinking about the state of the world and the up coming holidays. Did anyone else notice that every store skipped Thanksgiving and went straight from Halloween to Christmas? I realize this is part of the economic situation, and retailers are trying to get people thinking about gifts and spending money.

Yes the economy, and reading about the attacks in India, the world seems lost in darkness. The beauty of anticipating Christmas is that we are waiting for the celebration of the Greatest Light, Jesus, entering into this dark world. The world is looking for hope, when the man-made institutions fail us. There is Hope. There is Christ and the eternal security and inheritance He offers.

_________________________________________________________________
I will admit to being one of the people who went shopping on black Friday. Not so crazy to leave the house before 8:00am, but enough to brave the crowds. Got some great deals and have most of my Christmas shopping done. My brother and I, shopping separately, bought the same thing for my dad. We decided it would be easier to split the cost and he got sent back to return his. At least we figured that out sooner than later.

Enjoying one another

Its late on a blustery fall afternoon and already getting dark. A few flakes of snow are in the air. On the stove spaghetti sauce simmers away, next to a pot of boiling water, ready for the pasta. An ice cream dessert stays frozen outside on the deck (There was no freezer space). A dozen and a half sets of plates and sit on the counter. There is a welcoming sense of calm, but also anticipation for several car loads of beautiful women.

As each car pulls up and empties out, the joy, along with the sounds of talking and laughter, builds within the walls of the once quiet home. The call comes to eat and ladies fill plates with food. After a loud shout, a prayer of thanks is given for the food, but more for the surrounding company. Then taking places all over the living room, these women who come from different places and families, share the beauty of friendship and life bonded together by Christ.

I was one of the last to sit down that night. As I glanced around the room, I fought back tears. I been blessed by them in ways I cannot describe. There was such an undescribable joy thinking about conversations, prayers, laughter, tears, and mostly for how I have seen God work in and through them. They love Jesus and it shows in their lives. They are a delight to my heart and I know even more a delight to the heart of God.

A poet once described friends as 'the sunshine of my life.' I myself
have found that the day is certainly brighterwhen I'm sharing it with my
friends. Enjoying fellowship is once of life's sweetest blessings and
joys. What would we do without people and the many shadings of
companionship and camaraderie?
We need friends in out lives, friends with whom we discuss
'deep' issues and confide our secrets, fears or sorrows--- and with whom we can
laugh, play and even cry. The best times in life are made a thousand times
better when shared with a dear friend

Luci Swindoll

Wordless Wednesday

Unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies...

it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. John 12:24

So many thoughts. There is a great challenge going on in my heart over this verse and what God is calling me to. I have just over a year left on campus. I have not wasted my time on campus up to this point. God has done mighty things in my life and the lives, but there is an urgency and importance for this next year.

There is a beautiful story of a woman, Mrs. J. who prayed for the Navigators to come to campus. This was in the 1960's. I met Mrs. J for the first time in September. She is now 94 and still praying for us. What God is doing through the Navs is simply amazing. It is also a challenge to each of us. So many of us grew up in small towns, and as the group has gotten bigger, it is hard. We don't want to loose the family atmosphere. We love God and each other, and want to serve Him, but there is hesitancy to take the next step of faith, as changes are made so that we can make disciples in the generations to come on this campus.

We are kind of like the disciples. Among us are those going to school for agriculture, nursing, teaching, and engineering among others., but Jesus is flipping our worlds upside down for His kingdom. What lies before us is the call to die to ourselves, to pick up our crosses and daily follow Him. Will you join me in praying?

Not Me! Monday

Okay this week was a good one for me...

I did not drive into town even though there was a sheet of ice on the ground, and there were no classes. That would be unsafe.

Saturday was not the first time I had cleaned my coffee pot in a month. I did not clean it after I did not almost spit my coffee out because it was so bitter.

I did not cringe when 6 kindergarters started coughing next to me. I did not want to run for hand sanitizer and airborne!

I did not get rear-ended on my way to class Monday night. (No damage to me or the car. Thank God!)

Why Just One Day?

Thanksgiving is less than two weeks away! I get to go home for the first time since July. I love college town, and because I am here most of the year, it has really become my home. At times it is hard for me to return home, because it represents the person I used to be. Yet, I know that when I walk in that door that Wednesday, I will be welcomed into a hug with my mom. I get to drop my laundry next to the washing machine, and sit down to a meal after the five hour drive.

Being out on my own for the most part, it is a blessing to be taken care of for a few days. Mom loves to do it and it reminds me that God is like that too. He loves for me to come, drop everything at the door, be wrapped up in His arms, and give my needs to Him to be cared for.

And now to what the title infers. I hope that I live a life of thankfulness not just a day to think of the things I am thankful for. I was listening to Dr. David Jeremiah on the radio last night and he spoke directly into my heart, that as a follower of Jesus, we need only think of the cross and be filled with gratitude. I don't always, or nearly enough, think that my every need is met with the gospel. I desire to live that way, in thankfulness that God has chosen me, adopted me as His daughter through Jesus Christ, and that I have a relationship with my creator. I have reason to be thankful everyday! May I live in gratitude more and more.

This was taken while I was coming home for thanksgiving a couple of years ago. I stopped for two reasons, it was gorgeous, and I wanted out of the crazy pack of cars I had been stuck in for the last 20 miles.

What's Normal Anyway?

The last few weeks have been anything but normal. Between traveling to a conference, family issues, the election, and a holiday, the last few weeks have taken me out of my typical routine. I won't say this is a bad thing, but there have been a few times where I would get thrown for a loop because things weren't routine.



The extent to which I want to be in control of my circumstances is not good for me, or anyone around me either. I, at times, will panic when I realize the extent to which I can do nothing. What amazes me is that when it feels like everything is shaking and falling apart, it is truely God's mercy and grace. It is there I find that I am putting my hope and my trust in things other than God. And so I repent, I turn around and run back to my Savior again.

Not Me! Monday

• I did not stuff the garbage down in the can 7 or 8 times to avoid taking it out. I didn't hope that my roommate would finally get aggrivated and do it for me.
  
  
• It wasn't me you saw driving, while trying to see through the little hole made by the defroster because I would never be too lazy to go start my car 5 minutes early.
  
  
• I did not eat apple crisp for breakfast two mornings in a row. As a physical education teacher, I know better.

• I do not absolutely LOVE my friends Em, Karissa and Larissa. Karissa, Larissa and I have not dubbed ourselved the Issas and we would never spend 20 minutes trying to imitate a picture on a birthday card I gave Karissa, while Emilie directed us.

The best of the bunch

We aren't related but we are sisters!

Do Something!

I have been all over the map emotionally and physically this week. My great-grandma is doing okay for now. The prognosis is a couple weeks to a couple of months left. I found this out the day after I was told a couple of days. I lost it. I don't understand and the ups and downs are just agonizing.

Well, I then spent 3 days at my state's health physical education and recreation professional's conference. It was my first time attending and I did not know what to expect. I did get to meet other teachers from around the state and I picked up some great ideas for curriculum. I also had an idea to combine what I know as a physical educator with teaching people to walk deeper with Christ. I haven't really developed the idea at all, but I have some thoughts that I want to work through.

What I learned from this conference is that we are often all too like our students, whether as a teacher or as a follower of Jesus. We don't want to work hard to improve what we are doing. If a road block gets in the way, it is more likely that we will complain, rather than look for the positives and solutions, or pray. I do this far more often than I would like to admit.

"Attitude reflects leadership."

The people I love being around are those who have a positive attitude, and enjoy people and life. I can't just force myself to be more like this. I know it arises out of a thankful heart. So this is my prayer: Lord, Thank You for everything, may I grow in gratitude.

Not Me! Monday

Ahh...time for free therapy. Its Not Me! Monday. I'm not crazy, I promise. Check out what everyone else did not do this week at mycharmingkids.net.

• I did not sit on my cell phone and break the hinge where it opens. I did not try to superglue the piece of plastic back on and I would never glue the broken piece to my fingers.

• I did not laugh hysterically when a drunk Indiana Jones ran away from and then back over to the table where we were serving free coffee and cocoa on Holloween.

• I did not spend an hour trying to attach glow sticks to a shirt for a Holloween costume, and I did not abandon the idea after one poked me in the eye. (Not a story I wish to elaborate)

Short list this week only because I couldn't remember everything that happened. Really I do lots of interesting things during the week. I mean seriously, I do remember laughing more than this.

Minestrone soup, sunning on the patio, and Ephesians

Goodness! It is beautiful day. I trudged through a couple of assignments this morning and then headed over to a local coffee shop for a tasty lunch of homemade minestrone soup and fresh whole grain bread.

I love this place. It opened its doors a couple of years ago, operating in a local church. They have great food and coffee (of course), free wi-fi (draws in the college crowd), they have a tip jar that benefits a different chairity each month, they are open late and 24/7 during finals week (again great for the college crowd, when the other shop in town closes at 9), and they have this amazing outdoor patio. Its in the 50's right now, the sun is shining, so I decided to sit outside and soak up the weather before it turns into "normal" weather for this time of year.

I'm involved with the Navigators on campus and we are about to start an inductive study of the book of Ephesians. I am so pumped! This letter that Paul wrote to the church in Ephesus, is pretty much my favorite book of the Bible and so I am excited to study it in depth. This afternoon I sat down on the patio read through Ephesians a couple of times to get an overview of what Paul was writing. I don't the time to expound now, but in the next few days I will share a few things.

Grandma Update:
I have nothing new to report. She is hanging in there. I'm still not sure what to think or feel, but God has been so kind and good, walking me through this.

If anyone actually reads this, does any one have any good ideas for a Halloween costume. Someone help me quick or I may end up as a scarecrow!

Grace Like Rain

It has been a rough 24 hours. It is hard for me to even describe what is going through my mind. My great-grandma is still holding on, but I am already in mourning. I can't think straight. I am in tears nor near tears. I can no longer hide outwardly the emotions and grief I am feeling.

God has been pouring out His love in waves. There have been moments where I feel like I am really crazy. I have no capacity to think or understand anything other than the pain. But then He comes, I know He is present and and I know His peace and comfort even in all this agony.

Why does this hurt so much? My great-grandma is the glue on that side of the family. There is also a pattern, when someone dies, the family retreats away from one another to prevent more pain (which in turn creates a rift) instead of drawing together to heal. I am not just mourning for her, but also knowing it is not safe to turn to my family for comfort.

I must give praise to God for running my friends across my path in the last few days. They have listened and prayed when I myself did not know how or what to pray. I will ever praise Him!

Pray for Stellan!!!!

I would like to point your attention to"Pray for Stellan" button in the right bar. I stumbled across McMama's blog this summer. I got caught up in her story of her difficult pregnancy while she was in the hospital just after doctors had told her and her Husband that their baby boy Stellan would certainly die of a heart condition either in womb or after delivery

As she told her story through her blog, prayer warriors rasied up all around the world for that little baby. Incredibly, Stellan's heart reached a normal rhythm under medication and McMama was sent home. She has continued to keep us all informed on this journey even with a few bumps along the road. You can even catch up on her story by clicking on the prayer button.

Tomorrow at 9:30am, Stellan will be delivered via c-section. There are still concerns for the condition of his enlarged heart and how he will respond once delivered. Will you join me in praying for this little one and his mama?

Learning to Slow Down

I wonder what it will take for me to slow down. My schedule has lightened up recently, but it drives me crazy to watch other people who are busy, while I don't have work to keep me occupied. Am I insane? My body is telling me to slow down. There are obvious emotional and mental things I am going through that are also taking a toll. These are things that I don't know how to deal with and staying busy even when I don't have to is a great distraction.

It is obvious, I am not meant to live like this. I do have to face the pain. But I am not doing this alone. I have precious friends who are praying and have been amazing listeners, but I also have my God. He is the one constant. I don't know what to pray most of the time. My prayer is, "Jesus meet me here." He is faithful and good.

"My soul melts away for sorrow; strengthen me according to your word." Psalm 119:28

Not Me Monday

This is my first official "Not Me Monday" post, where I write about the things that I absolutely did not do this week ;) The idea for this weekly post comes from the precious McMama at mycharmingkids.net who I am praying gives birth to a miracle baby named Stellan on Wednesday.

• I did not forget to eat lunch Saturday or Sunday.
  
• I did not laugh hysterically when I did not drop the pumpkin I was carrying, as it did not bounce on the sidewalk.
  
• I was not totally excited for the first snowfall of the year.

• I did not move my car visor while sitting at a red light at the 2nd busiest intersection in town, and in the process of swinging it around I did not smack myself in forehead. Of course I would never laugh at myself while the guy in the truck next to me gave me a wierd look.
  
• I did not completely lose it and bawl in front of my supervisor at work Friday morning after I found out my great-grandma was put in hopsice care and has few days left. I did not then, spur of the moment ditch church Sunday and everything else to drive 3 1/2 hours down to see her for 1/2 hour to drive all the way back.

• This one is a few weeks old, but definitely worth mentioning. While driving back in a caravan of cars from a conference, my co-pilot and I did not make a sign that said "Smile if you are not wearing any underwear" We did not speed up and slow down, or block traffic to not display the sign to each of the three other cars with us. We would never contemplate showing the sign to cars of complete strangers, never...

Life and Death

I hate emotional roller coasters. I really wish I could get off this one.

UP
Yesterday marked the day six years ago that Jesus invited me to follow Him. It was a good day. I did not have a hugely busy day, but I worked on getting stuff ready for pumpkin painting that I am organizing for about 30 kids here in the community on Saturday. I am really excited for it. I had coffee with a friend and I had the best time as we just talked about the amazing ways God has worked in our lives since we have known each other. It is truely remarkable.

Then God gave me the coolest "Re-birthday" present. I noticed on Facebook that there was a new group that a few of my friends from high school had joined. It was a group dedicated to the members of the youth group that I got involved with when I started following Jesus. The creator was my youth pastor. I have not been in contact with him in about 5 years because I attend school 5 hours from home and rarely make the trip, and a year after I graduated he left that church to become the pastor of a church plant. It may not seem like a big deal, but it was special to me.

DOWN
My great-grandmother was moved into hospice care and is now in congestive heart failure. It could be a matter of hours to a couple of days. My heart just aches. She is 95 and has had a very full life. She is loved by her 9 kids, and at least 100 grandkids, great-grandkids, and great-great grandkids. My responsibilties here in town are preventing me from going down to say goodbye.

ROUND AND ROUND
I want to fight for joy. I know my God is good and loving and walking beside me right now. Satan is really good at making my head spin when I am emotional and tired. Anticipating the phone call is tying my stomach in knots. A verse just came to mind, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28

He that is in me is greater than he who is in the world

The Weather

It may seem odd that I would talk about the weather, but really I have been intrigued at how the weather the last week has affected my mood.

Sunday was downright gorgeous. Sunny, warm for this time of year. The only downside was it was a little windy, but really for my spot on the map, it wasn't unusual. I took a leisurely bike ride around my block (as in .5 mile by a 1 mile) country block. I stopped to take pictures along the way. Of stuff you wouldn't see, or at least slow down enough to appreciate, while flying by in a car. I would show them if I could get them to upload. I know I don't slow down enough in life to appreciate the beauty and small wonders. I was deeply refreshed from the day and ready to take on the week.

Starting Monday afternoon, it started raining and finally turned to snow this afternoon. I really didn't mind. This grey weather that annoys or frustrates others, made me want to curl up in a blanket and read or stare out the window. I was not sad or down, but I was quieter and reflective (Okay so I am like this often anyway). As I was walking across campus this morning in the rain, I was contemplating again, what God has planned for me. I was reading the story of Mary and Martha in Luke 1o:38-42 yesterday
As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"
"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, 42but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."

When brought this back to mind as I was walking, it was another reminder that what I need most, is not the answer to my every question, but I need Him and to sit at His feet, wrapped up in a blanket, with the Good Book, and a cup of coffee. Sounds like a amazing way to spend a few hours, listening and hearing His heart.

This is me

I had been hesitating for months to create my own blog. I did create a special event blog for a 7 week trip I took to the Philippines, but I wasn't really sure about creating an blog for everyday life. I have been following a couple of other blogs for a couple of months and I realized how much I wanted to be able to put my thoughts and stories out there.

Specifically, I am in a very transitional phase of life. I am mostly out in the real world, but still in grad school, working part time. For those of you that know me, most of this information isn't really that new to you.

I am a Christian, a disciple of Jesus. He has His hand on my life in incredible ways. The reason I named this blog Seek,Fight, Pray is that I want to seek Him in everything I do. He saved me, yanking me by the collar from the very proud and dangerous path I was going down. (Isaiah 53:6, John 3:16) In fact, tomorrow is six years since He called out to me to follow Him (Luke 9:57-62). I am fighting for the joy that He promises in His Word, the Bible. This is not a call to a life of ease and comfort, but a life in relationship to my Creator who loves me unconditionally. In following Him, I have to daily put my life in His hands. So I pray. I give him control, I ask Him where He is working and ask Him to send me there.

So why write this blog: I have been encouraged by following others' stories. Someone told me the other day, that the phase of life I am in, is likely the most difficult. (Yeah...No Kidding!) I hope that my journey may be a voice of encouragement to you no matter where you are in life.