Last fall at a conference I was at, we were all challenged to create our own Impossible list. A list of the prayers that we knew to be impossible except for the intervention of Jesus. The speaker urged us to find and claim the promises of God. To see in the promises who God is as the Promiser. To pray, in faith, that God would do what He had promised. To pray over that list for 6 months and see what God would do
I prayed my list most of last fall, but as I transitioned out of the journal that my list was in, I lost sight of that list. And being honest, I saw no changes in the things I was praying for. It was just so hard to put those things that are closest and dearest to my heart out there, and then have it seem like nothing was happening. I put my heart out there only to get stomped on.
Earlier this week, one of my closest friends reminded me of those Impossible lists. She told me that there were 40 days left in the 6 months of challenge. I had to admit that my list buried under a stack of other notebooks and binders. She challenged me to go find it and to keep praying. To keep claiming those promises. To live as God's promises are true. To trust Him.
I found that list. I reread it. I wept.
I haven't been trusting You, Jesus
And something broke free in me. I saw that list with hope again. I saw the Truth in And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.
With the strength He renewed in me,I will pray daily over that list and see what He will make POSSIBLE.
Friday, March 26, 2010
Saturday, March 20, 2010
Health and Hiatus
I'm not taking a hiatus; I am coming back from one.
Life gets busy and I cling to the 30-45 minutes I have in the morning to spend with Jesus and journal but I don't seem to get through the surface level thoughts when my days are so hectic.
So what have I been up to?
Well... master's oral exam, planning 24/7 week of prayer on campus, spring break in Chicago serving at Cornerstone Community Outreach,day-long Dr appointment, teaching, grading, homework, more planning, speaking at kick-off event for 24/7 week of prayer, paperwork, looking for a job (sort of), praying, Bible study.
For the record, I love where I am at. I love what God is doing in my life. Its just that in busy seasons as this, I really miss the time I get to spend resting with Jesus, praying, journaling, processing. Not that I can always retreat from life, but things are a little out of balance at the moment.
I also run into my limited physical capacity. I can't keep up with most people or even the pace that I set for my own life. I struggle with the lack of control over my legs. This whole experience with alternative medicine has been very positive. My doc is a real comedian but with a real determination to help people. What he's doing is working, it is taking time and resources. I fear saying this but I am praying for provision so I can go back. At this point, I can't go back, even though where treatment stopped, has me even more unsteady on my feet.
I think the next post for me will be about the relationship between suffering and God's compassion and power to heal. See, that is going to take one of those really good sessions with Jesus first.
Life gets busy and I cling to the 30-45 minutes I have in the morning to spend with Jesus and journal but I don't seem to get through the surface level thoughts when my days are so hectic.
So what have I been up to?
Well... master's oral exam, planning 24/7 week of prayer on campus, spring break in Chicago serving at Cornerstone Community Outreach,day-long Dr appointment, teaching, grading, homework, more planning, speaking at kick-off event for 24/7 week of prayer, paperwork, looking for a job (sort of), praying, Bible study.
For the record, I love where I am at. I love what God is doing in my life. Its just that in busy seasons as this, I really miss the time I get to spend resting with Jesus, praying, journaling, processing. Not that I can always retreat from life, but things are a little out of balance at the moment.
I also run into my limited physical capacity. I can't keep up with most people or even the pace that I set for my own life. I struggle with the lack of control over my legs. This whole experience with alternative medicine has been very positive. My doc is a real comedian but with a real determination to help people. What he's doing is working, it is taking time and resources. I fear saying this but I am praying for provision so I can go back. At this point, I can't go back, even though where treatment stopped, has me even more unsteady on my feet.
I think the next post for me will be about the relationship between suffering and God's compassion and power to heal. See, that is going to take one of those really good sessions with Jesus first.
Friday, March 5, 2010
Finish Well
I remember when I used to run cross-country in high school. Yes, its only been seven years but it seems like forever ago, and I haven't really run since. My coach had many philosophies and one I will always remember is, Run through the line!
Some racers would let up and start coasting 10-15 yards before the finish line. That was one thing my coach hated. Anytime we did track workouts she was always yelling as us to not pull up before the finish line. But see, it paid off for almost all of us at some time. We would catch people or prevent ourselves from being passed, simply because that last 50-100 yards was all out and we wouldn't let up until we had crossed the line (This did cause some problems as we did run into people who had stopped past the line.)
I'm racing towards a finish line in life right now. Eight weeks separate me from an official end of grad school. Its hard to believe that I am in the homestretch.
I want to enjoy everything. I want to savor the moments that I have left with a group of people who for the love of Jesus have radically altered my life.
There is a temptation to coast, to pull out of certain responsibilties. And while I know the necessity of dicipling and passing on responsiblities to those who will continue here, the greatest influence I can have is by finishing well.
And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable men who will also be qualified to teach others.
Besides, I have another finish line to strive for.
However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace.
Some racers would let up and start coasting 10-15 yards before the finish line. That was one thing my coach hated. Anytime we did track workouts she was always yelling as us to not pull up before the finish line. But see, it paid off for almost all of us at some time. We would catch people or prevent ourselves from being passed, simply because that last 50-100 yards was all out and we wouldn't let up until we had crossed the line (This did cause some problems as we did run into people who had stopped past the line.)
I'm racing towards a finish line in life right now. Eight weeks separate me from an official end of grad school. Its hard to believe that I am in the homestretch.
I want to enjoy everything. I want to savor the moments that I have left with a group of people who for the love of Jesus have radically altered my life.
There is a temptation to coast, to pull out of certain responsibilties. And while I know the necessity of dicipling and passing on responsiblities to those who will continue here, the greatest influence I can have is by finishing well.
And the things you have heard me say in the presence of many witnesses entrust to reliable men who will also be qualified to teach others.
Besides, I have another finish line to strive for.
However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me—the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace.
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