But here I'm finding the deepest trust and the sweetest touch.
The inordinate shame lifting as I let myself feel the pain of what was.
Everyone is broken.
Me...My friends...My family...My enemies.
As much as I could settle into blame and bitterness, I'd also agree to settle into death and a life as something less than being fully me.
I don't want to sacrifice destiny and joy for what turns out to be an illusion of a less painful road. It's an illusion because that road doesn't exist.
Remember...Everyone is broken.
I have lived the illusion. I've hidden behind religion and all the rational answers I could come up with. My answers could not push away the darkness. The brokenness has remained, and I did such a job hiding myself so that I'm not sure what I need. The true double-edged sword of not owning up to the fact that indeed:
Everyone is broken.
Me...My friends...My family...My enemies.
As much as I could settle into blame and bitterness, I'd also agree to settle into death and a life as something less than being fully me.
I don't want to sacrifice destiny and joy for what turns out to be an illusion of a less painful road. It's an illusion because that road doesn't exist.
Remember...Everyone is broken.
I have lived the illusion. I've hidden behind religion and all the rational answers I could come up with. My answers could not push away the darkness. The brokenness has remained, and I did such a job hiding myself so that I'm not sure what I need. The true double-edged sword of not owning up to the fact that indeed:
Everyone is broken.
I've picked up my life and moved back to the other side of the globe. I've left behind beautiful people that I love. I pray for the chance to return, but for now I'm settling in to being unsettled. Living out of a suitcase, depending on the kindness of those I returned to, as I have no peace about signing a lease.
Instead, I'm taking time to just be. Let whatever God needs to do wash over me. It's been promised that it will be a season of both darkness and joy. The courage I need will come. I want everything God has for me. I want to be everything He created me to be.
Everyone is broken.
And He makes all things new.
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