A preacher I listen to has said, "Jesus is the only one that the Holy Spirit descended on like a dove. The rest He has come upon like unquenchable fire."
Picking the word Burn for 2012, I wondered, even prayed that God's fire would hit me and I would have no doubt.
God has touched me and my heart wants to sit with Him, praise Him, obey Him, love Him more now than ever before. But the fire continually comes against the things that don't last. Yeah...like sin, like fear. I know far too often I don't feel the weight of grief Jesus has when I disobey, when I hurt someone else, when I am doing anything that is not about knowing and loving Him more and leading others to know and love Him more. Yes, tears came, as I knew the words that came from my mouth reflected a heart that wasn't fully in love and therefore, tore down His Children.
Yes...burn is the the fire love of Beloved, but it is also the refining fire. To burn, means nothing will be left untouched. My prayer is for my heart to be a pure alter of worship to Jesus. I don't want to live speaking blessings and curses from the same mouth poured out of the same heart. I want to live with an undivided and burning heart.
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Monday, April 23, 2012
Confessing and Contending
In tears and sorrow; a sorrow that leads to repentance and back to life, I found myself weeping. Other voices in intercession around me, pleading for the church to commands that God gave us to lead us to life. Not dead works of the letter of the law, but life in becoming obedient to the Spirit of the law written on our hearts.
I confessed my idolatry, bowing to gods of my own creation. I confessed to profaning the Holy name of Jesus, Yahweh. Treating Your name as a curse instead of a blessing, and misrepresenting You as I bear Your name. I confessed to murderous thoughts, knowing I had cursed another human being as I drove to this meeting, knowing far too often what came out of my heart and on to my lips was destructive. I confessed to my adultery, treating my own body as worthless, my heart ready run rather than stand faithful to Him who loves me and bought me with a price. I confessed to desecrating the Sabbath, working without rest and refusing to turn to Jesus; failing to trust that He will meet my every need without my toiling in worry and anxiety.
Yes, the look at my own heart showed much darkness. But Jesus is the light of life and NO darkness can stand against that light! For the beginning of His kingdom coming is the Bride, the Church exalting His leadership and dominion in our hearts.
Then to hear, that He was pleased, delighted at our labors for the church, for the neighborhood, for the city. He loves when we the church join with Him in His work, contending for His kingdom. He poured His lavish grace out on us.
The only response fitting was the cry of Revelation 22: Come Lord Jesus! Come! The Spirit and the Bride say Come!
I confessed my idolatry, bowing to gods of my own creation. I confessed to profaning the Holy name of Jesus, Yahweh. Treating Your name as a curse instead of a blessing, and misrepresenting You as I bear Your name. I confessed to murderous thoughts, knowing I had cursed another human being as I drove to this meeting, knowing far too often what came out of my heart and on to my lips was destructive. I confessed to my adultery, treating my own body as worthless, my heart ready run rather than stand faithful to Him who loves me and bought me with a price. I confessed to desecrating the Sabbath, working without rest and refusing to turn to Jesus; failing to trust that He will meet my every need without my toiling in worry and anxiety.
Yes, the look at my own heart showed much darkness. But Jesus is the light of life and NO darkness can stand against that light! For the beginning of His kingdom coming is the Bride, the Church exalting His leadership and dominion in our hearts.
Then to hear, that He was pleased, delighted at our labors for the church, for the neighborhood, for the city. He loves when we the church join with Him in His work, contending for His kingdom. He poured His lavish grace out on us.
The only response fitting was the cry of Revelation 22: Come Lord Jesus! Come! The Spirit and the Bride say Come!
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Working
Some would say that there is a dichotomy between bearing the name of Christian and the work that we do, if our job title has nothing to do with Church or Ministry work.
It's a false dichotomy.
Seriously.
For those who bear the name of Christian, ALL is ministry (With the admission that certain illegal and all immoral careers obviously don't fall into this category.)
Yes, Jesus called the 12 away from their careers to follow Him in His public ministry, but my argument is going back to Genesis in the garden of Eden. Adam and Eve were created to walk with God but they also had the responsibility to steward the Earth. The effect of the Fall is that man finds work to be painfully unrewarding, as the intimate communion of the Garden was broken. His work no longer brings joy as when He worked with God.
God's plan of redemption through out history has been to reconcile man to Himself and restore the relationship on all levels. This plan of redemption also includes God reestablishing His kingdom and dominion on Earth.
God could easily bring His kingdom about by force or coercion. But He hasn't. He's done it by love. Sending His Son Jesus to be the sacrifice for our sin, revealing the love of the Father that would do anything to win the hearts of His image-bearers back to Him.
Not only did the Fall break the relationship between God and man, it also gave dominion to Satan on Earth. We've been under him ever since.
When God took on humanity, lived the perfect life, died our death and then conquered death, He broke the hold of Satan on humanity. Satan's kingdom didn't just disappear but now those who trust in Jesus, they are rescued from the Kingdom of Satan into God's Kingdom of Life. So the Kingdom of God increases with those who turn to trust His leadership, who follow Him with all of their lives and through the work of Holy Spirit bring Jesus' kingdom and life where ever they go and into whatever they do.
As Jesus taught the disciples to pray, "Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven."
Paul also taught the early church to work as though working for the Lord and not for men. This is what it means to put ourselves under His leadership. Our intent at work, whatever our job title, is to bring His kingdom and push back the darkness and dominion of Satan. Love. Pray. Work. Know that you have the opportunity to make His name famous, to influence others to see and meet, and come to to know and trust the King.
We work, in all various fields, giving our best. We love and care for those we work with and work for. We strive for excellence and the final approval we look for is God. We work to catch His attention. We are faithful in all the little jobs we have to do. This is the faithfulness and integrity that God looks for. And we also take part in our call to subdue the Earth, as well as, love our neighbors as ourselves. These two things done under Jesus' leadership are what push back the kingdom of darkness (For we could do them under our own leadership or the leadership of another and Satan wouldn't budge and inch).
This is the end we work towards because this we're on the way to Eternity. God will come and finish establishing His kingdom back on Earth, and we want to be found working when He does.
It's a false dichotomy.
Seriously.
For those who bear the name of Christian, ALL is ministry (With the admission that certain illegal and all immoral careers obviously don't fall into this category.)
Yes, Jesus called the 12 away from their careers to follow Him in His public ministry, but my argument is going back to Genesis in the garden of Eden. Adam and Eve were created to walk with God but they also had the responsibility to steward the Earth. The effect of the Fall is that man finds work to be painfully unrewarding, as the intimate communion of the Garden was broken. His work no longer brings joy as when He worked with God.
God's plan of redemption through out history has been to reconcile man to Himself and restore the relationship on all levels. This plan of redemption also includes God reestablishing His kingdom and dominion on Earth.
God could easily bring His kingdom about by force or coercion. But He hasn't. He's done it by love. Sending His Son Jesus to be the sacrifice for our sin, revealing the love of the Father that would do anything to win the hearts of His image-bearers back to Him.
Not only did the Fall break the relationship between God and man, it also gave dominion to Satan on Earth. We've been under him ever since.
When God took on humanity, lived the perfect life, died our death and then conquered death, He broke the hold of Satan on humanity. Satan's kingdom didn't just disappear but now those who trust in Jesus, they are rescued from the Kingdom of Satan into God's Kingdom of Life. So the Kingdom of God increases with those who turn to trust His leadership, who follow Him with all of their lives and through the work of Holy Spirit bring Jesus' kingdom and life where ever they go and into whatever they do.
As Jesus taught the disciples to pray, "Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven."
Paul also taught the early church to work as though working for the Lord and not for men. This is what it means to put ourselves under His leadership. Our intent at work, whatever our job title, is to bring His kingdom and push back the darkness and dominion of Satan. Love. Pray. Work. Know that you have the opportunity to make His name famous, to influence others to see and meet, and come to to know and trust the King.
We work, in all various fields, giving our best. We love and care for those we work with and work for. We strive for excellence and the final approval we look for is God. We work to catch His attention. We are faithful in all the little jobs we have to do. This is the faithfulness and integrity that God looks for. And we also take part in our call to subdue the Earth, as well as, love our neighbors as ourselves. These two things done under Jesus' leadership are what push back the kingdom of darkness (For we could do them under our own leadership or the leadership of another and Satan wouldn't budge and inch).
This is the end we work towards because this we're on the way to Eternity. God will come and finish establishing His kingdom back on Earth, and we want to be found working when He does.
Saturday, April 7, 2012
just some sentences
Considering that it doesn't take much to improve on having to wear a uniform that includes a tie and a hairnet, I thoroughly enjoyed the opportunity to really dress up. My co-worker and friend's wedding dance was a blast and it was a shock for another co-worker to see me in a dress.
Speaking of shock. M was more surprised that I walked up with a beer in hand. Typically, I don't drink alcohol, and I go through seasons where God has asked me to abstain, but I am no teetotaler. Thing is I used to think not drinking made me better than people, then I turned 21 but I didn't know how to drink with a responsibility that I was comfortable with. I couldn't hang out with people who I wrongly labeled any number of terms, "bad, wrong, immoral, etc..."
I got super uptight. Time made me realize...the only person that can make me make bad choices: is me. No one gets to rub off on me unless I let them. It actually makes me more free to be their friends. I'm so sorry if you were someone I didn't get to know because of my fear and insecurity. Forgive me. Yes, I'm still going to tell you about Jesus, because I love Him and I want you to love Him too but I'm not pushing an agenda. I'm gonna be your friend regardless and get to know, understand and love you.
I love working nights...seriously. I stayed up until 6am after getting off at 3am to chill with Jesus. The odd hours also give me the opportunity to meet some pretty awesome people.
Speaking of shock. M was more surprised that I walked up with a beer in hand. Typically, I don't drink alcohol, and I go through seasons where God has asked me to abstain, but I am no teetotaler. Thing is I used to think not drinking made me better than people, then I turned 21 but I didn't know how to drink with a responsibility that I was comfortable with. I couldn't hang out with people who I wrongly labeled any number of terms, "bad, wrong, immoral, etc..."
I got super uptight. Time made me realize...the only person that can make me make bad choices: is me. No one gets to rub off on me unless I let them. It actually makes me more free to be their friends. I'm so sorry if you were someone I didn't get to know because of my fear and insecurity. Forgive me. Yes, I'm still going to tell you about Jesus, because I love Him and I want you to love Him too but I'm not pushing an agenda. I'm gonna be your friend regardless and get to know, understand and love you.
I love working nights...seriously. I stayed up until 6am after getting off at 3am to chill with Jesus. The odd hours also give me the opportunity to meet some pretty awesome people.
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
The Covenant
Jesus, you are committed to Your Bride, the Church, with undying love and ferocity. Jesus, your covenant was forged with your broken body and signed with your poured out blood.
Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you. Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day. For my flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink. Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood abides in me, and I in him. John 6:53-56May Your Bride be purified and drawn with love and desire to your covenant and heart. May she be one Bride, united and whole, that you died for.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Sing
No censoring. Pages of Divine Inspiration in front of me. A heart that is aching to cry out.
A new song.
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The words never written down on paper but sung and remembered in the heart of Jesus.
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Marked for Battle
In the midst of last week, I didn't see it. Until this afternoon, it didn't occur to me the pattern that was weaving its way in.
The three days as the one in charge. Those three days included a student melting down on me.
The last one was the most intense.
Yes, I know the target is on me by the Holy Spirit as I have invited Him to transform me by His Light and refine me by His Fire. He's certainly doing that. I'll even go so far to say that He allowed the meltdowns to check my heart and turn the heat up.
On the flip side I am well aware that the hand of the enemy was also on the encounters I had. I won't minimize or overstate what I witnessed. I say with conviction that what I saw in those children was nothing short of demonic.
How can I say that?
Anger, fear of abandonment, defiance, a young child convinced they are a bad kid.
On two of the three occasions, I had the time and opportunity to speak love and truth into these children. Oh, what it takes to bring out what a child is actually thinking and gently correct lies they believe. Being firm that the behavior was inappropriate while affirming that they have dignity and worth. If only I could have openly prayed over each one. If only I could have prayed for each of the single mothers (another pattern) these little ones belonged too.
I have wept over their brokenness. I'm not a saint or perfect. I lost my temper with one of these children, not coming from love or humility, but frustration and demanding spirit. Impatiently, I almost rushed off, when a frustrated mother just needed someone to listen. I leaned on the Holy Spirit for the direction of questions, for the words of affirmation, for the love that overcame my fleshly desire to run from these problems, from the brokenness.
Lord, prepare me. Give me eyes to see. Gird me with Your Armor. Train me to fight for those who can't fight for themselves.
The three days as the one in charge. Those three days included a student melting down on me.
The last one was the most intense.
Yes, I know the target is on me by the Holy Spirit as I have invited Him to transform me by His Light and refine me by His Fire. He's certainly doing that. I'll even go so far to say that He allowed the meltdowns to check my heart and turn the heat up.
On the flip side I am well aware that the hand of the enemy was also on the encounters I had. I won't minimize or overstate what I witnessed. I say with conviction that what I saw in those children was nothing short of demonic.
How can I say that?
Anger, fear of abandonment, defiance, a young child convinced they are a bad kid.
On two of the three occasions, I had the time and opportunity to speak love and truth into these children. Oh, what it takes to bring out what a child is actually thinking and gently correct lies they believe. Being firm that the behavior was inappropriate while affirming that they have dignity and worth. If only I could have openly prayed over each one. If only I could have prayed for each of the single mothers (another pattern) these little ones belonged too.
I have wept over their brokenness. I'm not a saint or perfect. I lost my temper with one of these children, not coming from love or humility, but frustration and demanding spirit. Impatiently, I almost rushed off, when a frustrated mother just needed someone to listen. I leaned on the Holy Spirit for the direction of questions, for the words of affirmation, for the love that overcame my fleshly desire to run from these problems, from the brokenness.
Lord, prepare me. Give me eyes to see. Gird me with Your Armor. Train me to fight for those who can't fight for themselves.
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