Bothered: A Post About Oneword 365

Choosing the word Burn for one of my Onewords (yes, have two this year) has proven to be well, ... bothersome.  In a good way, of course.

Why?

Because, wanting to burn, wanting that fire, means I put myself square in the Holy Spirit's cross-hairs.  It is a hot and refining fire.  I'm seeing all of my small compromises.  Oh...no they aren't a BIG deal.  Except they reveal all the little ways I choose to listen to someone or something other than God.

Remembering Jesus' words recorded in Matthew:  When we are faithful with the little, God will give us more.  If I want more, I have to be faithful in the little.

Add on top of this my pastor provoking the church to pray big and then engage with the world around us.  See, I'm good with praying, but fear most of the time keeps me from being the messenger I am called to be.  In essence I hide in prayer instead of praying for God to work and then joining Jesus in working. 

I am so convicted of my own selfishness and pride.  

I hear Jesus calling me to join in His joy by joining Him in the harvest and I'm waving Him off, "I'm praying for workers, Jesus, don't You see?"

"So come speak, come work with Me."

But I don't want to go because, I can feel the darkness in me.  The laziness, the indifference.  So to burn, to be refined AS I pray and cooperate with Jesus.  In the action, He will break the fear, He will break my willingness to choose compromise instead of obedience.

And I will know Him.  I will burn for Him.