The Covenant

Jesus, you are committed to Your Bride, the Church, with undying love and ferocity.  Jesus, your covenant was forged with your broken body and signed with your poured out blood.

Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you.  Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life, and I will raise him up on the last day.  For my flesh is true food, and my blood is true drink. Whoever feeds on my flesh and drinks my blood abides in me, and I in him. John 6:53-56

May Your Bride be purified and drawn with love and desire to your covenant and heart.  May she be one Bride, united and whole, that you died for.  

Sing

No censoring.  Pages of Divine Inspiration in front of me.  A heart that is aching to cry out.

A new song.  

The words never written down on paper but sung and remembered in the heart of Jesus.

Marked for Battle

In the midst of last week, I didn't see it.  Until this afternoon, it didn't occur to me the pattern that was weaving its way in.

The three days as the one in charge.  Those three days included a student melting down on me.

The last one was the most intense.

Yes, I know the target is on me by the Holy Spirit as I have invited Him to transform me by His Light and refine me by His Fire.  He's certainly doing that.  I'll even go so far to say that He allowed the meltdowns to check my heart and turn the heat up.  

On the flip side I am well aware that the hand of the enemy was also on the encounters I had. I won't minimize or overstate what I witnessed.  I say with conviction that what I saw in those children was nothing short of demonic.

How can I say that?

Anger, fear of abandonment, defiance, a young child convinced they are a bad kid.

On two of the three occasions, I had the time and opportunity to speak love and truth into these children.  Oh, what it takes to bring out what a child is actually thinking and gently correct lies they believe.  Being firm that the behavior was inappropriate while affirming that they have dignity and worth.  If only I could have openly prayed over each one.  If only I could have prayed for each of the single mothers (another pattern) these little ones belonged too.

I have wept over their brokenness.  I'm not a saint or perfect.  I lost my temper with one of these children, not coming from love or humility, but frustration and demanding spirit.  Impatiently, I almost rushed off, when a frustrated mother just needed someone to listen.  I leaned on the Holy Spirit for the direction of questions, for the words of affirmation, for the love that overcame my fleshly desire to run from these problems, from the brokenness.

Lord, prepare me.  Give me eyes to see.  Gird me with Your Armor.  Train me to fight for those who can't fight for themselves.

Freedom Looks A Lot Like Slavery

This could go two ways.  I'll go both for the sake of the way my brain processes things anyway.

Take 1:

Demand your rights.  No one can take anything from you or tell you to do anything you don't want to.  You are the keeper of yourself, your body, your life, your stuff.  But how often do we miss the chains that come with this supposed freedom.  Like increasing isolationism, racism, sexism, and most other isms as we hold so tightly to our own rights that we marginalize everyone who is different from us.

Does this sound like freedom to you?

We put chains on others.  We end up still in chains because when we are our own sole advocate, the weight of our actions still comes down on our own heads and we make a lot of noise when some one oppresses us but all it is is a cycle of oppressed:oppressor:repeat.

Freedom = slavery

Take 2:

Lay down your life.  Willingly.  Lay it down in love.  Love for the One who alone stands as the advocate for not only the sins committed against you, but also for the sins you committed against others.  You surrender your right to accuse others and to live offended.  You find forgiveness and the empowerment to pursue righteousness wholeheartedly.

Does this sound like freedom to you?

We take our new found freedom, the forgiveness of sin that only Jesus can give, because He alone is sinless.  Our chains being taken away, we find more freedom and joy in forgiving others, setting them free as we have been set free.  We become slaves to righteousness, sold to the cause of purity of heart, meekness and holiness; to the cause of the kingdom of God.

Freedom = slavery

Bothered: A Post About Oneword 365

Choosing the word Burn for one of my Onewords (yes, have two this year) has proven to be well, ... bothersome.  In a good way, of course.

Why?

Because, wanting to burn, wanting that fire, means I put myself square in the Holy Spirit's cross-hairs.  It is a hot and refining fire.  I'm seeing all of my small compromises.  Oh...no they aren't a BIG deal.  Except they reveal all the little ways I choose to listen to someone or something other than God.

Remembering Jesus' words recorded in Matthew:  When we are faithful with the little, God will give us more.  If I want more, I have to be faithful in the little.

Add on top of this my pastor provoking the church to pray big and then engage with the world around us.  See, I'm good with praying, but fear most of the time keeps me from being the messenger I am called to be.  In essence I hide in prayer instead of praying for God to work and then joining Jesus in working. 

I am so convicted of my own selfishness and pride.  

I hear Jesus calling me to join in His joy by joining Him in the harvest and I'm waving Him off, "I'm praying for workers, Jesus, don't You see?"

"So come speak, come work with Me."

But I don't want to go because, I can feel the darkness in me.  The laziness, the indifference.  So to burn, to be refined AS I pray and cooperate with Jesus.  In the action, He will break the fear, He will break my willingness to choose compromise instead of obedience.

And I will know Him.  I will burn for Him.

The Prayers I Pray

And the answers God gives.

Prayer for an undivided heart....answered with singleness.

Prayer for being in the heart of the city...answered with a request that I move out of my current (free) living situation and finding an apartment literally in the middle of the city.

Prayer for His Kingdom to increase.. answered in being sent into new schools each week where I encounter the greater need of this city to come under His perfect leadership.

Prayer for my family to grow in Jesus...answered with difficult circumstances where Jesus is the Only Thing not shaking.

Prayer for financial provision...answered with two consistent part-time jobs.

Prayer for community...answered with covenant friends, those with whom life is shared, exhortation spoken, and prayer given.

Prayer for the house of prayer to develop in this city and state...answered with the word to watch and wait.


Never unanswered prayers.  My God hears.  My God knows my heart.  He is good and His leadership is perfect.

Jesus, Your kingdom come, Your will be done... Amen

The Voice

Do we share tears with God?  Do we mourn over the things that break God's heart?  Are we friends of God?

I'm asking these questions as I slowly read through Jeremiah.  His accounts are heart-wrenching!  The things that God compares Judah to as His heart breaks over their idolatry and cold-heartedness are hard to stomach.  

Jeremiah pleads the cause of Israel.

And God tells him to stop or He might actually relent.

God shares His heart with Jeremiah.

And Jeremiah understands the fierce, jealous love that God has for His people.

I read recently that in those chapters it is hard to distinguish God's tears from Jeremiah's.  Jeremiah was a voice in his generation to declare the word of God.  Every loving word, even words that spoke of judgement if the people refused to turn to the Lord.  Jeremiah loved God and he loved his fellow countrymen.  He couldn't NOT speak these words.  Even when that made Him a target of scorn.

Most of the people wanted to hear the words that "prophets" not sent by God speaking, "Peace, peace." even when there was no peace, because the people refused to repent.  They didn't obey the first commandment.  They did not love God with all of their hearts and obey Him.  

I see the parallels of the sins of Israel in my generation.  We do nothing to lift the burdens of the oppressed and weak.  In fact, far too often our choices oppress the very ones God calls us to lift up.  We refuse to seek and know the heart of God.  We refuse to be the friends of God.  The one's He can share His heart with and work along side.

My Lord...let me be Your friend.  I want to know Your heart.