Set My Heart

This God I am encountering is magnificent.

Far to often He is met with my indifference.  I want to want more of Him.  I want to experience who He is.  Yet, I hold back.  Where life is continually intense in one way or another, I make my excuses and I shrink back.

This is my wrestling in a season where honestly, I think I realize the desperate nature of the situation but I'm still trying to breathe with my head underwater.

I get pieces of what God is doing.  Tokens, words, breadcrumbs leading me forward.  I'm stubborn so I keep up the trail.  But I go back to the word a friend gave that, it is like I am riding a bike uphill through mud. Jesus is calling for me to stop.  There isn't endless work for just breadcrumbs,  not when God calls me to come to Him with those pieces.

I'm working out my salvation.  I want sanctification by the grace of Jesus.  I'm doing what I know to do to cultivate desire for Jesus.

The very first words the Holy Spirit spoke to me were: "Come follow me"

There were no holes for me to slip away into.  Only to follow Him.  Not religion.  Follow Him.  Not a great pastor or teacher.  Follow Him.  Not my own constructions of what it means to follow God.  But to be weak, listen in desperation and Follow Him.

In following Him, becoming one with God as Jesus and the Father, and the Spirit are one.

Yes, He's got to come closer no matter how much I flinch as His glory and holiness, and righteousness touch my life.

The musings of my heart in prayer:

Lord what do all these examples of gates and walls mean?

Keep looking at Israel coming back to Jerusalem.

I had studied Nehemiah before which was about the rebuilding of the wall around Jerusalem.  But now I am  into Zechariah, which is before Nehemiah and at the time that they are preparing to rebuild the temple.  Through the visions that God gives to Zechariah, He is promising the rebuilding and restoration, but there is also a call to set their hearts on worshiping God.  Not just in the restoration of the temple and the practices there, but to humble their hearts and live out the first commandment.

Rebuilding and restoration comes first at the heart.  I truly believe, God has restored and rebuilt my heart in  His glory and grace.  But I can tell from my actions and inactions that there are hindrances to living out the first commandment to love the Lord with all of myself.  I need God to rebuild the wall.  To reset the gates. Because there are breaches where the Enemy moves freely in and out.  Compromises and attachments that have turned into idolatry.

God I want to fast, and maybe try a Daniel fast.

A few hours later I turn on the International House of Prayer webstream for their weekend service.  They are preparing for a 21 day Daniel fast.  So, I'm setting myself to join them.  Lord prepare my heart for that one.