Blogging everyday was tiring. But now, I wish I was still (see had the motivation) to still being doing it. Because, ideas that used to get thought out, even if no conclusion was reached, now just float out of my consciousness.
The real issue with me is consistency. Discipline.
Yeah... I don't like hearing that word. My flesh cringes at it.
It hasn't always. I used be be disciplined to the max. I never cut myself any slack. No grace. No mercy.
Not because I wanted more of God, but because of guilt
Then I found the words of Romans 8
There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus...
And though I was able to let things go that weren't mine to hold...I've gotten bad at letting go of the things that matter to hold...
I've forgotten my First Love.
I don't daily give myself to the discipline of surrendering to the Lord. My heart which was soft, has gotten hard around the edges, and it make it harder to hear the Spirit.
I forgot that in grace there is a measure of discipline to walk in that grace. To give myself to it.
As the Spirit has spoken His words of conviction to my heart, I've started to soften again. To see my need to draw near. So I am walking in the way, not just wanting to stay on the path but to long daily for more. To be so determined to stay as far away from the hardness of destruction.
This is the way of discipline and grace...walk in it...
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