160 Bus Tales

아줌마

You didn't want me to sit next to you, or so it seemed. I knew it was a risk to squeeze past You to grab one of the last seats remaining on a crowded bus. Your hand rested on the seat, blocking my ability to sit. Still undeterred for reasons even I can't explain, I slid past You to the inside seat by the window. You cleared Your throat, but moved Your hand so I could sit.

Even for the strange looks I received for being a Westerner from people of most of the people here, nothing matched the intensity of stares I got from Your generation. I expected the resistance, and so I put up my own wall. It was easier than the awkward feelings.

I could feel You staring intently at me. Studying me. So I turned toward the window.

Then I heard the Holy Spirit whisper, "Pray blessing over her."

So I did. I prayed for You. 

Five minutes after that call to Heaven, You turned toward me and in Your native tongue, You asked me for the time. In my foreigner confusion, and slow reaction time, I shoved my arm at You, to reveal my watch, because I couldn't manage to get out, "Oh-she-ship-sam-bun, " out of my tongue tied mouth. You pulled my arm close and stared at the watch on my wrist for several seconds.

Then it clicked in my mind: 

You couldn't really see.

You couldn't see my watch, and You couldn't see the clock at the front of the bus, and You couldn't really see my face, which in likely why You looked at me with such intense focus.

You continued to speak to me and I desperately listened for anything in the language I recognized. You leaned in as I stumbled out broken answers.

I discovered, not only was Your vision weak...so was Your hearing. I did sort out that You wanted to know where the Dongshin University stop was, but just as You couldn't see the displaying the upcoming stops, You also couldn't hear the sole speaker at the the front of the bus announcing the stops.

And despite all our broken communication and shortcomings, You got off safely at Your desired location.

As the bus pulled away, I realized that God had intervened. There were Your own countrymen all around for You to ask for help, but You relied on a confused foreigner. A foreigner who asked God to bless You and who figured out that You were probably as intimidated by me as I was of You. So God made me the blessing.

Sure it felt like the blind and deaf leading the blind and deaf, but by the grace of God You made it to Your destination, and I was reminded that I pray and God moves.

World Wide Welcome

Five Minute Friday with GypsyMama

Welcome

GO:

You're always welcome where ever I am.

Every year it seems that my network of friends gets more and more spread out.

Granted I hopped on a plane to Korea for a year.

My friends span states and continents. At one point I had friends on every continent except Antarctica and Australia.

But with so many this rings true for me and for them: You are always welcome where ever I am.

There will be food to eat, a place to sleep, and a time for long conversations, preferrably over coffee. The hospitality and welcome of friends whom distance only means less frequent visits but not weaker bonds.

STOP

Day 2 ~ What makes you uniquely you?

What makes me uniquely me?

I put things together.

Even explaining this is difficult because I can think of all the ways that this affects how I live my life, how I love God and how I love people, but here is my attempt.

When I look at a situation or experience, I look to see where God is, what the purpose might me, how it relates to other people's lives, how the situation came to be in the first place, what can I learn, where will things go from here, among a few other things.

When I look at new information I am learning, I look at what it is saying, what it is not saying, how it relates to what I already know, who the information might benefit, what action needs to be taken, how it is interpreted through scripture.

When I look at people and their stories, I look at their past, their present, their future, the stories they've told, and the stories that are left unspoken, but their lives speak loudly.

Then there all the connections between experiences, information and people...My brain is a spiderweb.

I'm an information gatherer but nothing remains in isolation in my mind.  I guess I see other perspectives more easily because of this, and I become a storyteller who has a tendency to go on bunny trails because I'm seeing a million connections and not a straight line.  It takes me time to get to know people because, it takes me time to see their story and make the connections.  I see history as a framework of understanding the way things are.  But I tend to have insight because all the crazy ways my mind works.

I could keep going and try to put this together but I think this is the general idea.

Day 1 ~ What does beauty mean to you?

Oh boy.

I'm sensing a mixed up rambling of everything on this topic in my brain coming spilling out.

Okay.

Beauty is both physical beauty and inward beauty.

Physical beauty is part of the equation even when that standard is subjective and I can't seem to hit the mark. It is physical features, clothing, and even makeup.  I admit, those are standards by which I deem beauty.

But beauty is the person who looks like a million bucks...and the person who makes you feel like a million bucks.

It's the beauty in creation, like the painted sunrises and sunsets where it is impossible not to sit in wonder at God's creation and worship.

Beauty is the kindness offered selflessly, the vulnerability shared, the character of one who holds hands open in worship rather than in fists of anger...even when the anger may be justified.

Beauty is what you see on the face of someone who knows they are loved.  It's not something they earn.  But they have the title of Beloved bestowed upon and given to them by another.  That they are loved for who they are, who they are created to be, and not for what they do.

Beauty overwhelms me.  It means so much to me.  And I'm embracing all these aspects of beauty with the perspective that God, my Creator and Potter, has bestowed beauty on me.  Tentatively bordering unbelief, I squeak out by faith what God has been repeating to me over an over again for years,

"Yes, I believe I am beautiful. I am His."

31 Days of Beauty

So I stole this from a friend, Kristi, who I believe jacked the idea from someone else but I figure for the journey I've been walking wrestling with both beauty and beloved, I would give this a shot.  I don't think I will go for 31 days straight but I think my goal is to get through all of these before I leave Korea in October, since I do still have some other ideas running around in my head.  


These are questions and prompts based off of Proverbs 31.  Frankly I read through some of these, and I'm intimidated to write about them.  Which is also why I'm not going to do this in 31 days. 


So time to dig in and I'll post the first one tomorrow.


Day 1. What does beauty mean to you?
Day 2. What makes you uniquely you?
Day 3. Who is someone you know who inspires beauty?
Day 4. Style 31. Post a pic of you in your favorite outfit.
Day 5. Write a blog thanking someone who has made your heart come alive.
Day 6. Jaded beauty. Has the world’s definition of beauty ever jaded you?
Day 7. Write a blog to encourage another beautiful woman.
Day 8. Have a beauty secret (e.g. hair tip, make up tip)? Share, please!
Day 9. What virtues do you value in yourself?
Day 10. What is Jesus teaching you as a wife, mom, or friend? (Or just woman in general?)
Day 11. Post a recipe. Or if you don’t cook, try a new recipe and write about how it turned out (pictures please!).
Day 12. Write about what wears you out as a woman.
Day 13. Write about something you would like to change about yourself for the better.
Day 14. Style 31. Post an outfit pic!
Day 15. Write to encourage a friend. Inspire her beauty.
Day 16. Write a letter to your daughter, or a young girl in your life. Tell her what beauty means.
Day 17. Write about 3 things that make you happy.
Day 18. Describe your personality.
Day 19. Write about your favorite comfort food (we are women- we ALL have comfort food!)
Day 20. Write about your job and why you love it or hate it.
Day 21. Write a letter to your husband to encourage him (or if you are single- your future husband.)
Day 22. What are some needs that need to be met in your community? Blog about how to extend your hand to those who need you.
Day 23. What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses?
Day 24. What is Jesus teaching you presently?
Day 25. Style 31. Post a pic of your favorite comfy clothes.
Day 26. What do you hope your grandchildren will say about you someday when you are gone?
Day 27. Write a blog to encourage someone and build their confidence!
Day 28. Write about your insecurities as a woman.
Day 29. Write about “a day in the life of me.” (Pics are great!)
Day 30. Who is your role model as a woman?
Day 31. Write about your dreams and goals as a beautiful woman

Early Exit?

"You know you could always just not get back on the plane."

Uh...say what?!

There are definite challenges to living in Korea, and working at my particular job.  I've had ups and downs.  Or sometimes its like I'm caught in one of those vortex, spinny rides where the centripetal force makes you stick to the wall and then the floor drops out, and I want off so bad thinking I might either go insane or puke, but the motion prevents me from doing anything.

Yeah...I've thought about it.

I go home for a week of vacation and brother's wedding in a month, and after that I have just over two months left until the end of my contract.  The ticket is bought and paid for.  I could not come back...

But the thought of running makes me sick to my stomach.  It's a totally and completely faithless move on my part.

If forces me back to the question, "Why did I come in the first place?"

A year...of training.  Training doesn't imply ease and comfort. But what it does imply is that this has been a place that, while still high stakes, God has made a safe place to try things, to make mistakes, and to face a ton of situations that I would never have faced otherwise.

A year of training for...well...to go beyond religion. And while Korea is a far kinder place than many, its past has taught me about cruelty and oppression.  And the cries of those lost, broken, sick, and forgotten that have broken my heart remind me that feeling like life is permanently on the spin cycle...is taking me to the place where I will do more than just talk about change, but have the faith to do something.

I don't want to short change myself or others that will cross my path.  I have the option to jump out of a difficult situation, but how could I then relate to those who are trapped? Life requires perseverance and following Jesus requires an answer of "Yes, " that stays on the table no matter the circumstances.

I'm going to finish, because two months hold a value that I can't put a price on and, that price is one that I cannot afford not to pay the investment.

And frankly,  I think following a God like mine...will always make my world spin.

Childlike Wonder

Five Minute Friday over at GypsyMama 

Wonder

Go

We talk about looking at things with the wonder of a child, seeing them for the first time, in all their glory.

I am thinking more and more about how with the new life Christ, I am seeing things with all new wonder.  A wonder I didn't even have as a little girl.

Maybe because as a almost 26 year old woman, I am learning to be a little girl cherished by the Heavenly Father.  It is so sweet and tender.

Sometimes I see things with these new eyes, and my eyes literally fill with tears and I experience the pain that walls used to protect me from.  But this is where God meets me and shows me His protection and justice.  Seen with the eyes of the child, and understood from the everlasting, loving arms of the Father.

And other times it is the wonder of joy.  I have laughed, cried, sang, and danced more in the last 3 or 4 years than I ever have.  I've been the little girl seeing life and my Daddy with the eyes of wonder.

Stop