Should I Forget...

It't five minute friday.

On Forgetting:

Should I forget that wound that some days still feels as fresh as the first?

Should I forget that learned response to what I see and hear, that reminds me of my brokenness and the sin that lives in me?

Should I forget the ways you backed away when I needed you the most to come to my rescue?

Should I forget the silence that left my heart aching?

Should I forget the Words of life you spoke to me...they are written in ink and in my heart.

Should I forget the name You gave me...You speak it once again.

Should I forget You came to my rescue, redeeming what was stolen, what was lost, I see the riches of grace... Should I forget Your hand of healing on me, I move joints that I couldn't and my heart goes places it couldn't...Should I forget that by Your wounds I am healed, You died to give me a new name, You transformed my death into life and my life into death...

Should I forget...

God please don't let me forget that in my sin and the sin done to me...I am not forgotten.

Don't Go Down to Egypt

The city is still smoldering.  The stench of death everywhere.

And silence.  Streets where children used to play.  The market place no longer filled with shouts of merchants selling their goods.  And the temple... no stone left on another.  The glory of God...gone.

Most of the people are dead or taken to captivity.  Some remain but their enemy still prowls and threatens.  Even though still in the land, the pressure is so high, that the best idea seems to be to run.

The people cry out.  The prophet intercedes. The Lord answers the cries of the people:

If you will remain in this land,then I will build you up and not pull you down; I will plant you, and not pluck you up; for I relent of the disaster that I did to you.  Do not fear the king of Babylon, of whom you are afraid. Do not fear him, declares the LORD, for I am with you, to save you and to deliver you from his hand. I will grant you mercy, that he may have mercy on you and let you remain in your own land. 

Yet, even with the word...the people flee for the worldly promises of security in Egypt.  To the people who were once seen as their oppressors for protection.

Lord how we still do this all the time!  You give us your word, but we aren't sure, so we run to anything we know...even if it is actually another prison.  In our fear, we cling to the world.  We don't listen.  And we believe that You aren't enough.  That the current trouble will eventually pass.  Lord, you have given us Your word.  Be merciful to us, to grant us the faith to let Your word be enough, to trust Your faithfulness and steadfast love.

Five Minutes: When Seasons Change

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When Seasons Change

It's funny how I felt the seasons change the day I drove out of my home for the last seven years.  I wondered for months if I would be able to say good-bye and really be ready for a new season.

But the moment I took the step of faith and went forward.  God met me, and I was so ready to do the next thing.

As I think about changes in the upcoming five months.  I'm holding my breath knowing I'm deep within a season and not sure I'm ready for the next.  All of the planning doesn't feel all that exciting at the moment but yet deep down I know, God will meet me in the change of season.

At the perfect moment.

No waiting longer than I'm supposed to.

God will reveal the beauty of the new season.

So with the uncertainty of what the next season brings, I also wait expectantly for the amazing things Jesus always does in a new season.

Within and Without

Sitting on the hill, overlooking the busiest part of the city.  I can see buses pulling in and out of the terminal below, and the brightly colored tents of the market that comes to town on days with 5 and 9 in them.

I'm sitting here trying to make sense of the words of a friend about being drawn to this land, and the history of this city, region, and country I have been reading and hearing about.  The past holds oppression from enemies but also uprising and victory over those oppressors.  There are also tales of mental illness, a unrelenting work ethic, pride, and bitterness.

I'm gripped by how much this place reflects my own story.  I'm held by this one thought:

You must grapple with the evil that presses in and the evil of fallen man within you.

Oppression and injustice have come in from the outside..  Actions and words that make be believe I am unworthy of grace, leave me broken and unsure of how I could be put back together.

Deliver me, O Lord, from evil men; preserve me from violent men, who plan evil things in their heart ans stir up wars continually.  They make their tongue sharp as a serpent's, and under their lips is the venom of asps. Psalm 140:1-3

 I also see my own sin.  Sin that wants to hurt people.  Manipulation.  A selfishness that will take what it wants  no matter the cost.

Search me, O God, and know my heart!  Try me and know my thoughts! And see if their be any grievous way in me... Psalm 139:23-24

 Sitting here and I know what I need: Mercy.


Mercy because justice only goes so far.  Justice would make sure that, both those who left me with scars and I for my crimes, would pay the price.  But mercy triumphs over judgement  Judgement will pay for my grievous mistakes.  Mercy will grant me strength to turn when I want to harm another.  Judgement will pay for my offender.  Mercy will heal every wound and tear in my identity.

I say to the Lord, You are my God; give ear to the voice of my pleas for mercy, O Lord!

This land too, needs mercy.  It needs mercy to forgive.  It needs mercy for unity.  It needs mercy to stand in a God given identity.

So this land and I cry out.  And we wait on the merciful hand of God to redeem the evil that presses in, and the evil that is within.

Beloved: Watching

Continue steadfastly in prayer, being watchful in it with thanksgiving. Col 4:2

Prayer and intercession:  They've been my calling since day one. Part of the purposes that my heart that bring my heart alive.  And as I've learned more and more, I'm realizing that this call stands regardless of my occupation, location, or season in life.

I know that every follower of Jesus is called to prayer. So should I consider this a special calling?

On your walls, O Jerusalem,
   I have set watchmen;
all the day and all the night
   they shall never be silent.
You who put the LORD in remembrance,
   take no rest,  Isaiah 62:2

There are watchmen.  The ones who are set on the wall to watch.  The parable of the ten virgins in Matthew 25 says we are to watch for the Bridegroom. And as Matthew 25 continues there is the parable of the talents.   All are called to pray.  All are called to intercede. Jesus calls all to intimacy with Himself in the the place of worship and prayer.

But where my heart is this:  Day and night watching for the return of Jesus.  Which means that I believe I will lay aside certain opportunities if it prevents me from a lifestyle of prayer and fasting, watching until the He returns.

I've been wrestling with the significance of this calling, but that is not mine to judge, nor to let any other person judge me.  To continue to do so is only a waste of time and energy.  Only the enemy would want me to believe that praying is insignificant.  I will obey to keep watch day and night.

I see my place on the wall, and I look to the horizon, for this is more than a duty. I love my place on the wall, and it is my delight as I anticipate my Lord returning.

On Victory

Ding dong!  Osama is dead!

For God does not delight in the death of the wicked...

Teacher, Japan kill Korea before.  Earthquake good.  Japan die.

For our struggle is not against flesh and blood...

I've wrestling with how to think about the suffering and death of those who have committed great evil or oppressed others long before my Facebook newsfeed blew up Monday (in Korea).  I want justice and righteousness for the oppressed.  But when I look at Jesus I see this one Truth

There is only one death that ever brought complete justice.

Only Jesus' death satisfied the demands of God's justice for man's sin.

And the last enemy to be defeated is death.

And while the death of the wicked feels like victory and justice, death is not victory.  The Jews thought the messiah would come and bring Israel victory by the death and defeat of their worldly oppressors.  In His time,   they thought Jesus would lead them to this victory by defeating the Romans.  Jesus instead took out death, itself.   Death violates the design God had for mankind in the beginning.  For man to dwell with God eternally.  All men.  And by sin, all men are separated.The empty tomb is the ultimate victory.  Jesus running out of hell with the keys.  The curse of sin and death broken.

God's final judgement and justice will come, but in the meantime, I pray for all to see the love that conquered death and reconciles all who believe in Jesus to God.  Because apart from Jesus I would face the same fate as Osama Bin Laden.  And had he repented, God would have welcomed Osama with open arms.  And Koreans and Japanese can stand reconciled, united in Christ, no longer enemies.  Yeah...that's victory.

So I really take no comfort in the death of one man.  I instead look with eyes for the resurrected King to return.Whereas death and hate come together, love and life come together.  Come, Lord Jesus!

Buying a Field

God told Jeremiah to buy a field right after He told him that the Babylon was coming to take Judah captive.  To invest in something that seemed pointless, and would have no return of investment.

The opposite is actually true.  Even though captivity was immanent, there was also the promise for return and restoration, of the people, of the nation, of His inheritance to them, and their identity in Him.

What was coming was temporary and God wanted Jeremiah to show the people in a very public way, that although destruction was upon them, to have faith and believe that God would fulfill His promises.  And He says,

Call to me and I will answer you, and tell you unsearchable things you do not know.~ Jer 33:3

In the same way, He calls us to look to Him for the unsearchable things.  To buy a field, when it looks like I will never see the fruit of it, because I trust the One leading me.  Instead, believe, have faith, walk into trial knowing that He is Good.

• To see beyond this life, when we see suffering and death
• To invest finances in things that we can't hold to as worldly security.
• To love the people, who are offensive to us.
• To love the people, who can't love us back.
• To lay hands on people and expect that Jesus will heal them and set them free.
• To sing His praises in darkness and prison.
• To invest our gifts and talents for His kingdom.
• To live in voluntary weakness in this life, as an investment in our eternal inheritance.

Lord, I don't understand every direction you have sent me at the time, but I can honestly say, every moment has transformed me and stripped more and more away from my selfish desires.  I have fallen more and more in love with You.  There is joy that defies logic and reason, but it rests solely in that I know You.  I ask for more.  Lord, I ask for grace to walk by faith, even when others question me, question You.  I thank You that You see me, You love me, You are for me.  Come Lord Jesus!  Amen.