NOT Offended

Love is not easily offended...

Oy!  Please stop staring at me!  I know I look nothing like you, but seriously, do I look like a freak or something?

Smile.  Let them see your heart.

Everyday your response to "How are you today?"  is "Angry and crazy."  Why? "Teacher!"  Really, I want to like you, but I'm really tempted to ring your neck when you babble at me in Korean and expect me to know what you are saying.

They need to know you love them.  The culture has already held so much bitterness for them.

There is no way these people will relate with me.  They may be Americans, but they don't get me.  We may be all Christians, but they're off in their own little worlds.

When you live with your walls down, you give them permission to take down theirs.  Even if you still have little in common.

Your pride and arrogance is shocking.  I have read the Bible for myself, more than once.  I don't want to be talked down to, especially because you have a tendency to leave Jesus out for a willpower morality.  Get some Holy Spirit already.

Remember the plank versus the speck?  Hold yourself to my standard alone.  Do you want Me more than you want to be right.

Miracles, signs and wonders?  Not so sure.  I've heard other's testimonies but, I still think they may be a little crazy.  Uncontrollable laughter?  Healing?  Shaking?  Visions?  Dreams?  Phophecy?  Is it real?  Does this really happen?

To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good.

I am far too easily offended.  I don't love those who desperately need love.  I'm irritated and I want people who think and act just like me.  What would a smile hurt?  Lord, I don't want to be rejected so I just don't even offer the kindness of a smile.  Can I laugh with children?  Yes, they may be trying to push my buttons, but I have also seen how some things in the culture teach bitterness.  I don't want to contribute to that.  Can I accept the various backgrounds of the small group of foreigners, embracing the commonalities, opening myself to them.  Not focusing on the differences.  Can I thoroughly disagree with the theories of ministry and some of the theology of others in the body of Christ without rejecting the people themselves.

I also know that if I am easily offended by these things, how will I ever have my heart open to the lost of the lost and the broken?  Because, they need Jesus, not be told to get their act together. 

Like prostitutes....homosexuals...prisioners...lepers...idolaters...adulters...

Like those abused...oppressed...victimized...beaten...

Those Jesus called the least of these.

Why should I be offended by these?  These are the ones God wants to take His redemption

To be easily offended now...means I would hold myself off from what God is doing.  He, in His holiness, is reaching out to those the world, and in many cases the church, has forgotten.

To be offended is to forget...I'm a liar...a cheater...an adulterer...   I have been taken advantage of and left powerless.

To be offended is to forget that grace is a daily needed gift.  That the gospel is more than a one time thing, but new mercy every morning.  I am speechless to know that Jesus bore all my sin, my shame, and when the Father looks at me...He is NOT offended.

Beloved: Authority

My word for 2011 is Beloved.

Along with Beloved, a word that has repeated itself lately is: authority.

As God's beloved I have authority.  The authority of a co-heir with Christ.

I've always hesitated to take authority.  Even in the place where that is the expectation of my position.

Why?

I don't see myself as being strong, of having the proper credentials.  I might have some of the tools, but I am always focused on what I lack. 

And to be honest:  I don't want to fail.

But knowing I am Beloved reminds me that even when I fail, God does not withdraw His favor.  Because He bestows His authority on me now and I am nowhere near understanding His love or authority.  It's a gift of His love.  Like the disciples in Matthew 10, Jesus sends them out with His authority, cause He loves them and those they would lay hands on to heal and deliver from demons.

Its not about what I lack.  Its about what he has given.  The authority I received generations and generations down the line from the first disciples who received the Great Commission

Love and authority.  Security and power.  Both life changing.  For me as I learned to be Beloved, and for those I am charged with the authority of declaring, "You are His beloved too."

Being a Foreigner: An Analogy

I have a friend who loves using analogies.  They help him picture in his mind how things work, especially when it comes to more abstract ideas.

I was reading Galatians the other day and I had one of those moments of clarity that actually leave you kind of dumbfounded.

I know no matter how long I live in Korea, I will never be Korean.  In the same way, no matter how strictly I follow the letter of the law, I cannot be justified by it.

So how exactly are those two things connected?  I'm gonna try to explain.

Living in a foreign country, you learn the food, the language, the fashion, even some of the thought processes.  The longer you are there the more you assimilate.  But make no mistake, you will never be a native.  You will always have a former way of life that influences how you live now.  Complete transformation is impossible.

Here's the connection.

I can follow the letter of the law, and the more I know about the law, the more I look as though I am conforming to it.  I do the right things, say the right things, but the thing is, my heart is still stuck in the former life of sin.  The law can teach me, but it can't justify me, because its like I am still a foreigner to God.

Here is the beauty of the Gospel.  The Spirit brings life and a new birth.  I can grow up like a native in God's kingdom, with a new, transformed mind and heart.  I'm a true citizen.  I grow more like my Father.  Not because of the law, but because His Spirit draws me and changes me from the inside out.

I'm no longer a foreigner in God's kingdom, although I am a foreigner now in this world, to its values and culture. 

I have no idea if that makes sense to anyone but me, but I needed to write it out.

I Raise My Glass to You

To the women whose kindness drew me towards our Heavenly Father;

To the man who boldly shared the call follow Jesus;

To the woman who gave me permission to ask for help;

To the man who let me make mistakes without fear of shame;

To the women who taught me to love God's word;

To the Bible study that weathered the worst storms and became some of my best friends;

To the man who demonstrated dying to self that others might find life;

To those that passed into my life briefly but profoundly changed my perspective;

To the man who shared God's love for the nations;

To the couple that taught me to pray for the impossible;

To the woman who held me when things fell apart and I had no idea what to do;

To the faithful shepherds that have kept this sheep from wandering;

To the woman who sat across for me countless times and we learned to fight for each other;

To the woman who mentored me to the point that I don't need her, but I still love to talk to her;

To the couple who opened their home to me when I was in a bad spot;

I lift my glass to you.  And I know that my worldly recognition doesn't mean much.  I pray that Jesus will multiply rewards to you in Heaven.  That He will raise His glass too.

Faith to See

Now I have to remind myself exactly how bad it was.  The pain shootin through my legs as I tried to stand.  Walking slowly with a limp because swelling in my knees and ankles prevented the joints from going through a normal range of motion.

I stood on top of a mountain in South Korea on Saturday.  I climbed it.

God is amazing. 

I have gone from searching for answers of how to cope with that kind of pain, to now forgetting those moments I wanted to just stay in bed.

What if God hadn't brought healing to my body?

I remember talking with a friend at the time and knowing that I would not stop believing in God's love even if I never felt relief.   My growing belief in the goodness of God would not allow me to stop asking for healing, while trusting for the grace to follow Jesus' calling on my life in the midst of pain.

I didn't always see at the time.

I got angry.  Hot, fierce tears would stream down my face.  I begged.

I learned to declare the truth of scripture.  I surrendered my will. 

God met me.

Jesus, showed me over and over again, how by His stripes I am healed.  How his love was poured out and I could claim it as my inheritance.  That shrinking back in fear was not what He called me to, because HE loved me and HE commanded me.

I read the gospels and I am utterly stunned at how Jesus ministered to people.  And how much I was like the Pharisees (And still am). I thought I could see who God was.  I would say God loved me.  I would say that God is a healer.

Now:  I know, have experienced, the massiveness of His love.  I know, have experienced, the Great Physician.

I had to ask for that which I could not see.  More than just safe prayers that I could make sure by my will could be accomplished.  I'm thankful for God's grace that has granted me faith to see Him, in the things that I cannot physically see. 

  Thank you for the presence of Your glory on my life. I ask for more, my Lord.  I ask for boldness, for faith.   Do what only You can do.  Do not forsake the work of your hands (Ps 138:8).

Stream of Consciousness

Today has been better than yesterday, but I am still so drained. My voice almost became non-existent, even though my throat doesn't hurt at all.

I'm thankful that it is the weekend. I'm tired but I also want so badly to spend some time on the mountain tomorrow.  I may try to see if I can get farther up the one mountain than I did the first time when there was still snow on the ground.

The simplest thing today is the most profound:  God's mercy is unending.  I get to wake up and try again  tomorrow and the day after that...and so on.  I can and must ask for what I need and my Father is eager to provide.  Yes, I have nothing right now to give but I'm loved... this is enough.

He's Alive!

"Goodnight teacher!" 

Little Leah walks toward her apartment building and I turn up the hill to cross the street and find refuge in my own apartment.   This day has stretched out more than others and the shouts, screams and chaos still swirls around in my head.  Student fights, parents upset, and accusations of teachers not doing their jobs.

Just 8 hours before, I walked through the school and God's presence was so strong.  He spoke that His favor on me, and I almost couldn't stand for the weight of that grace beyond measure.  I claimed His favor for me, for the other teachers, for our boss and for the students.  I know that His grace is far more abundant than even that.

A different weight settles on me as I make my way upstairs.  This one carries the fragrance of death and not the fragrance of life.  I slowly muddle my way through the dirty dishes in the sink and manage to make myself a sandwich for dinner, but nothing pushes away the heaviness on me.

Checking email, facebook and blogs only serve as a distraction.  I open up my journal and begin to jot down a few thoughts.  Clarity comes slowly;  mistakes happened but I can stand to fight another day.

I had put on some music in the background and as I pray, it pushes itself to the foreground.  And the weight begins to ease.

Death where is your sting? Grave where is your victory?  He's alive... now I will never die.

The resurrection power of Jesus is on me.  I chose to die to myself, that Jesus may bring His life in me.  That is what I carry in with me everyday.  And while most days feel like a warzone instead of a classroom, He's alive and I never have to accept the death that comes with words of condemnation.  I can rise to go in and fight with all the fierceness of the Spirit, giving all I have to what I am doing.

Even more so, I find the refuge with my Father.  He washes away the remnents of the daily attacks of the Enemy and I see more of His fullness than before.  His life multiplies and His love revives me.   

No fear of death...no fear of sin binding me to the grave...

The only death God asks of me, brings life to me and to others...and tomorrow's another day to carry Jesus and His resurrection with me.