Faith to See

Now I have to remind myself exactly how bad it was.  The pain shootin through my legs as I tried to stand.  Walking slowly with a limp because swelling in my knees and ankles prevented the joints from going through a normal range of motion.

I stood on top of a mountain in South Korea on Saturday.  I climbed it.

God is amazing. 

I have gone from searching for answers of how to cope with that kind of pain, to now forgetting those moments I wanted to just stay in bed.

What if God hadn't brought healing to my body?

I remember talking with a friend at the time and knowing that I would not stop believing in God's love even if I never felt relief.   My growing belief in the goodness of God would not allow me to stop asking for healing, while trusting for the grace to follow Jesus' calling on my life in the midst of pain.

I didn't always see at the time.

I got angry.  Hot, fierce tears would stream down my face.  I begged.

I learned to declare the truth of scripture.  I surrendered my will. 

God met me.

Jesus, showed me over and over again, how by His stripes I am healed.  How his love was poured out and I could claim it as my inheritance.  That shrinking back in fear was not what He called me to, because HE loved me and HE commanded me.

I read the gospels and I am utterly stunned at how Jesus ministered to people.  And how much I was like the Pharisees (And still am). I thought I could see who God was.  I would say God loved me.  I would say that God is a healer.

Now:  I know, have experienced, the massiveness of His love.  I know, have experienced, the Great Physician.

I had to ask for that which I could not see.  More than just safe prayers that I could make sure by my will could be accomplished.  I'm thankful for God's grace that has granted me faith to see Him, in the things that I cannot physically see. 

  Thank you for the presence of Your glory on my life. I ask for more, my Lord.  I ask for boldness, for faith.   Do what only You can do.  Do not forsake the work of your hands (Ps 138:8).