Its a fire inside that quenches the fire I long for.
Like how explosives are used to suck the air out of raging fire so that it can be subdued.
The fire of the Spirit put out by the fire of anger.
It is unrighteous anger, spilling out of my heart and through my lips. And it is over absolutely stupid stuff... I mean why am I so angry over some inconvenience or request at work? I work in customer service.
Ready to run someone over or off the road because they happen to get in my way on a rush through traffic...
Eye rolls at ones I really do love but their words hit walls or wounds and I won't have any of it...
Out of the heart the mouth speaks...
Deep in my spirit, broken or messy as it may be, I cry out for more than this life, drowning in my own anger and offense.
Truthfully, my greatest loathing is still for myself. Living unforgiven, drenched in shame, beyond repair.
What hands of mercy and love come into my self-dug sheol pull me out. Still farther in than out but daily, faithfully He comes. He speaks. I listen...sometimes. By faith, I have hope, still as a thread but it moves me out of the grave.
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