Hide

"Those who look to the saving God are radiant."

What is the difference between hiding and rejection?

Oh we can hide after being or feeling rejected.  I'm really good at this kind of hiding.  The kind where I don't want to be found.  The kind of hiding where disappearing into the shadows is my solution to eluding the pain.

On a bright sunny day recently, I walked.  I walked and I prayed.  I asked for some kind of answer to the pain that had yet to go away.  I could show anyone the passages in scripture that speak of God's redemption, His healing, His love.  But even in the light of day, darkness was overwhelming me.  So I hid.

In hiding, I try to do things myself.  Things I have no business or ability to do.  Like fix my own computer.  Sitting there staring at my laptop in pieces, I cried, feeling control and my backup plan shatter into pieces.  I knew I could do nothing but more harm if I tried to repair what I had just done.


"Now will you let Me heal you.  On My terms."

This kind of exposure to my helplessness, left me in tears.  I'm learning to hide in God's presence; to let Him heal me, overshadowing me, to make me confident of His love in all circumstances.

It's harder than I would ever like to admit.  I don't really have a clue what I am doing.  I've made more mistakes in this week, sinned more, ran back and forth more, seeking shelter, peace in my own way, even after I had His word and promise. 

To hide in God and not from Him.  It's what I need.