Being Rachel

So if you know my name you're going, "What is she talking about? Her name is Melissa. Why is the title, "Being Rachel?" Long story. Here's the short version.

About 3 years ago I was praying and reading in Isaiah 62 where God says, "The nations will see your vindication,and all kings your glory;you will be called by a new name that the mouth of the LORD will bestow." I just simply asked God if He had given me a new name.

A few hours after that I was talking with a friend and she began to pray for me. As she prayed for me, she kept calling me Rachel. She had no idea about my previous prayer, and I was just stunned.

I've been asking God in the time since then why Rachel? In the beginning I really saw it as a reflectin on Rachel being a shepherd.  I was learning that I cared so deeply for others' hearts and that they were being drawn closer to God.

But this was the easy conclusion.  God meant something else by it. 

Rachel is Jacob's beloved.  He does some crazy things for her even on first sight.  Even after being tricked into marrying Leah, seven years more of labor for Rachel was like a day because of Jacob's love for her.

I'm staring at this story thinking to myself, "WHOA! Backup God!  There isn't a man chasing me down like this, so why are you going there?

Fast forward two years of denials and searching for other answers and I'm finally starting to get it.

It's God who loves me jealously. 

I'm not talking about "God is my boyfriend" romantic love.  That's weird.  No this is about God showing me how Jesus has pursued me to make me a part of His bride.  That as I typically did, I saw myself as Leah: unlovable, not beautiful, was to deny the love of my creator.  To say that even though He created me, I wasn't good enough to be loved unconditionally by Him.  Satan loved that I lived as rejected, when Jesus was calling me Beloved and Beautiful.

God has done some crazy things to win my heart.  And I am starting to listen to His voice on this.