Give Me Jesus

I don't know if I have the words, or even the strength to write this whole post the way I want to. Bear with me, as I pray my way through this one...

Every few minutes of the last few days, I feel like I keep asking myself, "Is Jesus enough?" I'm confused about the direction God is leading. I have watched people I know and heard about others who are walking through pain, who are dealing with disappointment, and who are just as confused, if not more confused, than I am. It has put faces to the suffering and to those who are poor in spirit, and I am so helpless to do anything. God is telling me to rest in Him, when all I want to do is to fix things. Fix me, fix situations, solve the problems... How Jesus?

And right now... I do know my Savior is with me. Yet there are tears... and anger... and disappointment... and confusion... And there is His presence... His affection... His joy... and His love...

When it comes to crises or events that upset us, this I have learned; you can have God or you can have understanding. Sometimes you can have both. But if you insist on understanding, if often doesn't come. And that can create distance between you and God, because you are upset and demanding and an explanation isn't coming and so you withdraw a bit from God and lose the grace God is giving. He doesn't explain everything, but He always offers us Himself. ~ John Eldredge

At some point, I may get an explanation. I'm looking at God right now and wanting to ask "Why?" to so many things. I want an answer. I want a solution. This is where God has taken me.

This is what the LORD says: "Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom or the strong man boast of his strength or the rich man boast of his riches, but let him who boasts boast about this: that he understands and knows me, that I am the LORD, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight," declares the LORD. ~Jeremiah 9:23-24

so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. ~ Ephesians 3:17-19

But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. ~ 2Corinthians 3:16-18

Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised. ~ Romans 4:20-21

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for men than to be happy and do good while they live. That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil—this is the gift of God. ~ Ecclesiastes 3:11-13

I could have all the world, every explanation and not have what I need...

Give me Jesus

p.s. Stay tuned for a post about why you should take care of your heart...