Rest for the weary

Sunday Pastor Scott spoke on rest for the second week. And by the end the Holy Spirit led him to speak a third week on rest next week. In his words, "it is too important for us to get this."

Sheesh...after another kick in the pants, I prepare for another. "Rest is more than a stop from working, it is actively seeking God and His rest." Pastor Scott asked us to honestly evaluate our weeks. Are we lazy? Or are we mistakenly believing that we must squeeze every ounce of productivity that we can out of every single moment?

Sometimes I think it is both. I get distracted easily and don't always use my time effectively when I need to, and then end up stressed because I procrastinated. Other times, I end up carrying a burden where I never stop to trust that if something doesn't get done that things will be okay. That God will work it out.

Then I also wondered about my weekend. It was full of time with friends. Friday night I got to go to a high school play to watch a good friend and then spend time playing games after. Saturday during the day, I did some work on my research and some other projects, but then that night, I went with friends to a great dinner and then live music. I often wonder about the value of entertainment. But I really enjoyed that time. I relaxed and was able to put the workload behind me because the people are what really matter in my life. My weekend was topped off with an awesome conversation with a friend who is in China. I felt rejuvenated.

Is that rest? Or is it shucking responsibility? I'm sitting on this verse: So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. ~ 2 Corinthians 4:18. I figure whatever is best and rest will come out of that. Whether, I need a kick in the butt to get going, or a hand on the collar to get me to stop. If my focus is on the eternal, God will work it out.

Something Missing

God uses all things for good.

As I have spent the last few months processing the reality of living with muscular dystrophy, God has spoken directly into how that physical condition is representative of the spiritual condition I have often found myself in.

Let me explain first what exactly is going on physically. This is a genetic disorder where the mutation basically makes it so the muscle cell membranes are faulty. What this means is that when muscle tissue breaks down like it usually does with normal use and exercise, it cannot rebuild itself properly and this causes weakening rather than the strengthening effect that normally happens.

Okay folks, I hope you are still following me.

In our walk with Jesus, it sometimes seems like there is something missing too. We work and work and work, but there seems to be no fruit, no growth, and, at times, that we are even going backwards. We get things in our minds, but it doesn't translate into transformation. Why is this? What is missing?

Is it discipline? I don't think so. Is it prayer? I'd be the first one to say there is a lack of prayer but that isn't exactly the answer to this question.

I think it is a Galatians 2:20 heart. We are still fighting to live for ourselves. We don't die so that Jesus can live in us and exert His power through us. We are weak because we don't let Jesus be strong.

When Jesus tells Paul that His grace is sufficient for the trials and daily grind, Paul gets it: " Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses so that the power of Christ may rest on me."

The something missing is the power and life of Jesus. The troubles and trials will come. Jesus told us they would. The daily grind takes our hearts out. But Jesus has overcome, so must choose to die to myself so that Christ may live and reign. There lies the key to growth and sanctification.

Why "Seek, Fight, Pray"

It's the ache in my chest that puts me on my knees.

It's the joy of refuge

It's that moment when I realize God had been at work all along

It is the call that keeps repeating

It is the desire to see chains break

It's seeing mourning turn into dancing

It is the body I am a part of that rallies to whomever when the call is sounded

It is living my life in worship as I will for all eternity with my Savior

Seek: The treasure is God. He is what my heart longs for. My sinfulness, perverts that desire and I will seek good things as though they are God. Satisfaction is only fully met in Jesus. When I ache, when I long, it is an act of will to seek God. To surrender myself to Him.

Fight: This seeking is not unopposed. Satan would nothing more to keep me from loving and worshipping God. He tries to turn those longings into sin, which put up a barrier between me and God. I fight with the Truth of who God is. I let Jesus fight for my heart. I fight for others because I want them to know too.

Pray: What better place to be than before the throne of God? In prayer, I know and am known. Satan can't use what I have confessed and acknowledged before the throne. I cast myself on God's mercy...

Divorce is NOT an Option

I think about how often I see a split, whether in a casual aquaintanceship, friendship or marriage, is the end result of conflict. It feels like the best option; that the pain will go away if the relationship is terminated.

We are too stubborn to stop having our own way. And the result is torn relationships and broken people.

In meditating on the truth, that for God, divorce is not an option, I am reflecting on what it takes to fight for relationships as God has fought for me. I am not talking about marital divorce. I'm talking about our sin that has separated us in our relationship with God. We go our own way.

But God has said, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." And He has backed up His Words. His love, has said "I will do what ever it takes to make this relationship work out." In the greek language, this type of love is called agape. We walk away in our pride and selfishness and God pursues us relentlessly. To fight for and win back our hearts. The reconciler of all is Jesus. Who laid down His life to pay the price of our sin, to bring us peace with God. And to top it all off, He stays near to heal. To whisper the truth, when we start to forget.

In this time, when I am very aware of my shortcomings and deficits, and I just want to to numb the hurt with more sin. I am crying out to the Lover of my soul. He is not walking away from my squalor. He is coming toward me with arms wide open, saying, "I will redeem. I will restore. I am enough. I make all things new."

27 Million Voices

I want to do something.

This week four campus ministry groups plus imput from the three most secular groups on campus held a human trafficking awareness week. 4 days of training, praying, information tables, and an open forum will conclude tonight with a presentation by, Mindy, a woman who works with World Hope in Cambodia.

The sheer volume of information I have taken in this week about modern day slavery is completely overwhelming. An estimated 27 million people in slavery around the world... 80% are women... 50% are children... 70% are in some type of sexual slavery...it is happening in my backyard...200 women bussed into South Dakota for sexual servitude for hunters during pheasant season (Opener is tomorrow)... the mall of America is the #1 recruitment spot for human trafficking in the US... women held in cages to be selected by customers for sex...children as young as 5 or 6 kidnapped and forced into being soldiers... people told they must work for nothing to pay off a "debt"

This is the tip of the iceberg. I am exhausted physically and emotionally from the whole experience, but when I look into the heart of Jesus, I know one thing...

I can't claim ignorance...

I hear their voices...

I am not the bearer of the weight of this problem, but I know the call of my Lord: to act justly and love mercy and walk humbly with my God. Jesus is the true Redeemer of those who are enslaved physically and spiritually.

I want to go to Asia, to be an agent of His redemption. But I'll start right now...

From Nehemiah to the Moravians

The power of prayer...I can talk about it. I say that I believe in the power. I have read about the theolgy and know the scriptures about prayer. The real school of prayer comes in doing. Facedown, praying until the Spirit really gets you praying, getting carpet fibers up your nose (Thanks for this image Jo), begging before the throne of grace.

There are two examples of pray warriors that I have been asking God would mold me into.

First is Nehemiah. The man was in the court of the king as cupbearer. He hears of the remnant his brothers of Israel in Jerusalem being exploited and attacked. Nehemiah is devastated. The first throne room floor he hits is not that of the king of Persia, but he weeps before God.

The source I used, said that about 4 months spanned the gap between when Nehemiah first heard about Jerusalem and when the King inquired of Nehemiah what was bothering him. In that time, Nehemiah was constantly burdened in prayer for Israel. Four months... I have prayer ADD and often find it impossible to sustain prayer for a topic for more than 2 minutes.

The beauty of God is that HE delights to answer Nehemiah's prayer. God moves in the heart if the king to be favorable toward Nehemiah and Jerusalem, not only granting that Nehemiah may return to Jerusalem to see the wall around the city rebuilt, but also granted all the supplies needed as well as safe transport there.

The prayers of Nehemiah do not end there. He listens and watches to God's vision as he surveys the walls around Jerusalem. Then Nehemiah, follows the voice of God, his King, as he rallies the remnant to rebuild, even amid the distractions and threats of Tobiah, Sanballat, and Gesham. Leading the people to rebuild the wall in record time, while most of the time they were working with one hand and ready for battle with a sword or spear in the other.

I cannot tell you powerful this last image sticks in my mind these days. Praying, obeying in building the Kingdom, and fighting in battle spurred on by petitioning and listening to the voice of God.

Lately, it is incredible how subtle the distractions have been. How deceptive the lies have been to prevent me from walking forward in freedom. Prayer must be constant or I hesitate or stall out. There is only ONE VOICE for me to listen to and obey even when other voices seem wise.

The second picture of prayer comes from more recent (if you can call it that) history. It is the example of the Moravian Church. Which is the birth of the 24-7 prayer movement

The Moravians saw God move. Someone was before the throne of God every hour of every day for over 100 years. This is a picture of giving God no rest. You who call on the LORD, give yourselves no rest, and give him no rest till he establishes Jerusalem and makes her the praise of the earth. Isaiah 62:6b-7

And it was in and through this people on their knees that God moved mightily. They were transformed by prayer. They saw people coming to know Jesus and they sent many missionaries around the world with the gospel.

This is my heart cry for the church. To be transformed and moved by God as they seek Him in prayer. A book I was reading states over and over again that without people grounded in prayer and constantly seeking God, nothing we do can ever be successful, because without prayer we leave God out of the equation. Without the power of God, teaching and preaching has not the vision of God and the gospel falls on deaf ears.

Where does prayerlessness and weak praying come from? Pride. We fail to see in every moment our desperate condition apart from the redeeming and saving grace of Jesus. We put our trust in something other than Jesus.

I have no brilliant words to offer. My Spirit is somewhere in a state of desperation and rejoicing. Please, body of Christ join me facedown. Let us seek the face of the One who sacrificed all, to make a pathway to the Father.

When he has brought out all his own, he goes before them, and the sheep follow him, for they know his voice...My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand. My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all, and no one is able to snatch them out of the Father’s hand. ~ John 10:4, 27-29

A group of friends and I were studying this week the topic of God as Shepherd. As we were discussing, it was hitting all of us how much we really are like sheep and how desperately we need a Shepherd.

See, sheep are really dumb. They are the second stupidest domesticated animal on the planet...behind humans. Sheep will freak out and run head first into a fence, and then freak out more. They are so dumb, that they won't stop to think that they could back up, and instead keep running into the fence. They need a shepherd to turn their head, so they can escape this prison of their own creation.

Shepherds also would break the leg of a sheep who had a tendency to wander off, and then carry that sheep over their shoulders, while the leg healed. It was in that time as well that a sheep would really learn their shepherd's voice.

God does the very same thing as our Shepherd. At times He will have to turn our heads to keep us from continuing our insistent head-banging. And He will also use our circumstances, where we are wounded and need to be carried to teach us His voice.

Between reading in Ezekial 34 and John 10, and listening to the stories from Ryan whose family raises sheep, the metaphor became a very real scenario. The Holy Spirit was doing some serious work in me.

I am a sheep. A particularly dumb one. I have been freaking out because of circumstances. I have a form of muscular dystrophy that my doctors have not yet been able to identify. I am losing strength and more so in the last few months than before. I am losing the ability to do things that I love, and I have been left wondering how long I would be able to pursue a career in physical education.

In the last couple of weeks, God has been coming to turn my head away from ramming the fence of being a victim of my circumstances. He has also seemed to have broken my leg, so He can carry me in this path and so I can learn intimately the intonations of His voice. To be reminded that, the Shepherd of my soul has laid down His live so that I might have eternal life. It is ill-deserved grace.

He has called me to be still and rest. Believe me, even wounded, I am dumb enough to want to run back to the fence. I'm learning His gentle and kind voice, and it is giving me courage to check into options I would have never pursued without His coaxing. I am waiting to hear back from a professor who has done research on physical education teachers with disabilities, and I am praying and waiting on whether to go after a couple other possibilities.

Yes, my Shepherd is good and kind. And I need Him desperately!

"I myself will be the shepherd of my sheep, and I myself will make them lie down, declares the Lord GOD. I will seek the lost, and I will bring back the strayed, and I will bind up the injured, and I will strengthen the weak, and the fat and the strong I will destroy. I will feed them in justice...I will make with them a covenant of peace and banish wild beasts from the land, so that they may dwell securely in the wilderness and sleep in the woods. And I will make them and the places all around my hill a blessing, and I will send down the showers in their season; they shall be showers of blessing...And they shall know that I am the LORD their God with them, and that they, the house of Israel, are my people, declares the Lord GOD. And you are my sheep, human sheep of my pasture, and I am your God, declares the Lord GOD." ~ Ezekial 34:15-16, 25-26, 30-31.

He will tend his flock like a shepherd; he will gather the lambs in his arms; he will carry them in his bosom, and gently lead those that are with young.~ Isaiah 40:11