What the Hell is Everyone Running From?

Busy

A four letter word

So often worn as a badge of honor.  "Look at all that I am doing.   You're only doing that much?  You should pick it up, weakling."


We kill ourselves and then cry out when we are burned out with no peace in our hearts. We don't like being so crazy but we just can't stop.  So I have to ask the question?

What the hell is everyone running from?

Ourselves.  Jesus.

When we stop, there is so much chaos inside, we freak out for any chance to get busy again.  We crave the solitude but then are not sure how to handle all the noise that arises when we stop going and going.  It isn't the peace we imagined, so we jump back into the fray not really rested, but not knowing if non-circumstantial peace is even possible.

For this edition of Five Minute Friday, I wrote how we have to be intentional about connecting with people even though with how easy technology makes it to be connected to people near or on the other side of the globe.

And as I continued to ponder the idea.

The Holy Spirit dwells in us.  How much easier can it get to connect with God?

And yet it takes such intentionality to actually connect and commune with with God.

I don't know if that thought strikes you like it just did me.

To get to that quiet place, I first have let the inner chaos out.  To let God at what has crowded into the place where connecting with Him is like breathing in and out.  But I make the choice.  Yes, God made it so easy, but I have to choose to open my mouth and communicate and connect with God.

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one,  I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me.

Connecting Intentionally

Five Minute Friday with the Gypsy Mama.  Five minutes of unedited writing.  Ready, set...

GO

In the age of skype, high speed internet, smart phones, easy international air travel and mobile everything...It can be so easy to get and to stay connected with people all over the world.

Then again do I miss actually connecting with people.

I'm no judge. Having lived overseas for a year myself, I know how vital technology is to staying connected with people back home.

In the past, going to a different continent meant possibly never seeing that person ever again.  Now all that is required is a computer and an internet connection.

At the heart of things though, is intention.  Friends have moved all over the world and all over the country.  All the technology in the world can't keep us connected if we don't use it.  So while clearing junk out of my email inbox, actually writing that email I intended, to skipping a cup of coffee everyday so I can save for that plane ticket.

STOP

A Year = Only the Beginning

Expectations accompany a new year, full or promises.  I held on to multiplying expectations of this year of Beloved.  More than I realized.

For everything I've learned, experienced, wrestled with this year...

...I expected to feel more differently than I do.

And possibly the lull that has come at the end of this year due to transitioning back the the States from Korea has me feeling a little isolated and a little less able to feel the love.

Again I get quiet.  I type and catch the sight of the ring on my finger.

I AM MY BELOVED'S....MY BELOVED IS MINE

All this year, God has been giving me pieces of what Beloved is: Authority, Calling, Repentance, Beauty, Watching, Being Seen, and mostly Being.

I'm still putting pieces together.  I just want to feel like I get it.  That it is ingrained in my soul permanently.  Who doesn't want that kind of love?  That always assures.

Yet it is here, with my doubts, fears, and hiding, that God does this incredible thing:

He never stops loving me.


He never stops fighting for me.


He never stops pursuing my heart.


He never stops speaking the depths of His love to me.

Beloved doesn't end as the new year comes.  Because God has been speaking this to me for years and will continue with every breath I continue to take.  Beloved goes with me forward because it is the core of my identity.  It's also something I need to hear and be reminded of by Jesus every day. (It's also what Satan attacks)

So I look forward to 2012 carrying both Beloved and Courage with me as I go into the year of ________ (Coming soon)

Missing Shades

GO

How I wish things were black and white...or maybe I really don't.  This isn't about shades of grey but actually the vivid colors that bring the joy.

The circumstances that should be straight forward and in a rush, you hope go off without a glitch.  Except they don't.  There are delays, complications, incoviences.  But with each passing second a new brush stroke goes on the canvas.  The master artist continues His work.

The people you want to just be normal.  What is normal anyway?  Who among us isn't complicated? Or colorful?  Or a tad crazy?  Again, each person was molded by the Potter and then became a vessel for color to the world.  We need them.

STOP

Not bad for 6am.  Join me and others over at the gypsymama for five minutes of unedited writing.

Broken and Bleeding

Words meant to be remembered.  Painting a picture almost impossible to comprehend.  Spoken with such intent that generations would remember them and speak them as they joined together.

The good news...the "how" of and incredible "what," the new covenant described through the words of the prophets...

The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me, because the LORD has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound; to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn; to grant to those who mourn in Zion— to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he may be glorified. They shall build up the ancient ruins; they shall raise up the former devastations; they shall repair the ruined cities, the devastations of many generations.

Sing and rejoice, O daughter of Zion, for behold, I come and I will dwell in your midst, declares the LORD

Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows; yet we esteemed him stricken, smitten by God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his stripes we are healed. All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned—every one—to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all. He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth; like a lamb that is led to the slaughter, and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent, so he opened not his mouth. By oppression and judgment he was taken away; and as for his generation, who considered that he was cut off out of the land of the living, stricken for the transgression of my people? And they made his grave with the wicked and with a rich man in his death, although he had done no violence, and there was no deceit in his mouth. Yet it was the will of the LORD to crush him; he has put him to grief; when his soul makes an offering for guilt, he shall see his offspring; he shall prolong his days; the will of the LORD shall prosper in his hand. Out of the anguish of his soul he shall see and be satisfied;by his knowledge shall the righteous one, my servant, make many to be accounted righteous, and he shall bear their iniquities.

The fulfillment of words He breathed Himself, displayed in the crack of unleavened bread and sip of red wine.  Body and blood signing the signature on the new covenant.

The body broken for us:

for the healing of all sickness and disease that afflict us...

for the wounds inflicted by others...

for the sorrows of a world growing under the weight of sin...

for the freedom of the captives held by injustice...

The blood poured out for us:

for our sin...the darkness found within...

the blood covers the sin...even the sin we are unwilling to see.

Yes, the eucharist has been explained, dissected.  But is it felt?

Christmas celebrates the birth of Jesus.  God putting on flesh that would be broken, and drained.

What can I say?  I'm begging that this would drench me and sink in deeply.  God fought for me, even though a dark season makes it hard to believe.  And even when I struggle to believe it, I choose to declare it over myself and those around me.  This is the gospel.

So I take the bread and as I chew... I remember that new life was forged as He was being beaten.

And I drink the wine...I remember that forgiveness is signed in His blood.

 

 

 

 

So Tired...

TIRED

GO

Tired...jaded.

Being so worn out by brokenness that even a normally strong belief in restoration for all is weakened.

Tired...from being busy

But self-made busy in a time where quiet and rest is allowed.  Frantic when things will be left unfinished and out of my control.

Tired?  Sure.

But I don't have to be.

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

STOP

Five Minute Fridays at GypsyMama.

Do You Hide Like Me?

Will I embrace this season?

Will I accept this time where unstructured time is more abundant and money is less?

Will I choose to come into a place of solitude?

As soon as we are alone, without people to talk with, books to read, TV to watch, or phone calls to make (or social networking sites to browse), an inner chaos opens up in us.  This chaos can be so disturbing and so confusing that we can hardly wait to get busy again.

Will I listen?

The discipline of the heart makes us stand in the presence of God with all we have and are: our fears and anxieties, our guilt and shame, our sexual fantasies, our greed and anger, our joys, successes, aspirations and hopes, our reflections, dreams, and mental wandering, and most of all our people, family, friends, and enemies, in short, all that makes us who we are.  With all this we have to listen to God's voice and allow God to speak to us in every corner of our being.  This is very hard since we are so fearful and insecure that we keep hiding ourselves from God.

These words from Henri Nouwen have been bouncing around in my head all week.  I am somehow trying to ignore the fact that I am trying to get so busy so fast, applying for jobs right and left.  I don't like not having full time work and a full time paycheck.  I half acknowledge that I am hiding from God even though I know better.

Words come: I love you.

Eleven months of "beloved" and I am still hiding.